The Trick to Getting the Most Out Of Your Halloween Costumes

Halloween is my favorite holiday, but with four (and sometimes six) kids, costumes can get EXPENSIVE!  Luckily, I’ve learned how to turn Halloween costumes from an expensive, commercialized trick into a year long treat for the children and my pocket book!

Costumes tend to be costly, particularly for what you get in return for your hard earned dollars. A $20-25 costume is often little more than cheap, thin cloth that ties or Velcros at the neck and back. It can’t be washed, tears easily, and provides little warmth on Halloween night, and less usage after.  With a little creativity and ingenuity, however, you can get months of wear from a higher quality costume for the same relative cost.

Here are my best tips for extending costume wear:

1. Use actual clothing in the creation of your costume.  For example, Cady was a scarecrow for her first Halloween!  Using yellow felt, cut in to fringe, and washable craft glue, I glued felt into the cuffs of a pair of jeans and a plaid button up shirt from the baby boy’s department. I added fake patches on the knees and elbows using colored felt and craft glue. Some exaggerated red cheeks and yellow hair paint in her hair, and she was an adorable scare crow. After Halloween, I removed the patches and ‘draw’, washed out the glue, and used the warm outfit throughout the winter.

I’ve done the same for other costumes: a hoodie and sweatpants with felt ‘spikes’ and a tail make an excellent dinosaur. A pink skirt, pink tights, red shirt, pink ears and tail, paired with pink face paint and hairspray make an excellent pepper pig. Pink sweats and a Fluttershy Hoodie make an adorable My Little Pony, and that hoodie will be one from October to May (or blue sweats and a rainbow dash ball cap for Rainbow Dash)! A striped shirt and skirt  plus black and white face paint makes an adorable zebra, plus provides clothes that can be re-worn time and again.

We’ve used this technique for Toothless the dragon, the Heathers from Heathers (often we’ll all pick a theme and go as something from the theme! Great fun!),  countless cats, dogs, and witches, zebras, devils, a cheerleader, and literary characters.  This year, Punkie is using this costume method to play a Possessed Child in a local Haunted Forest attraction!

2. Onesie Pajamas.

These may be the most loved costumes of any as far as my kids are concerned! Pikachu is the favorite, but rainbow dash and elephant are used often too. (Rainbow Dash is the only PJs Cady wears!)
Available at Walmart and target, as well as amazon, these full body fleece pajamas come as favorite characters, including hoods. A little face paint and you’re ready to go.  Best of all, they’re warm and comfortable, and as they tend to run large and are supposed to be baggy, last for years.  All four of my girls have used theirs are pajamas and lounge wear for going on 3 years now, meaning I spent $25 each on four costumes that have been worn hundreds of times!

Regular pajamas work as well! Cady was the cutest “skelebaby” ever, and those jammies kept her warm many nights!

With either option one or two, proper make up and accessories make the costume work. Personally, the spray-able hair paint is key, and proper make up is essential. I prefer actual makeup, like Wet n Wild’s Fantasy collection, over Halloween grease paint. The Paint Pots are fantastic under or over foundation, or all by themselves, and I’m obsessed with the multi stick! It lasts through the night, looks better, and is better for the skin! 

3. High quality costumes.

For those characters that they are obsessed with and already play pretend as often, I don’t mind spending a little money on a high quality, real cloth costume. This privilege is reserved  for Absolute Favorite Characters, however, and never used for generics like “policeman”, “cute puppy”, or “mermaid”. The year that How to Train Your Dragon 2 came out, we splurged and spent $45 on an Astrid costume for Punkie. She’d gone as Toothless the year before (using the same technique as I mentioned for a dinosaur costume, but with wings added and eyes painted onto a black hoodie) and we knew she’d wear it often. She played as Astrid until the costume no longer fit, then gave it to her little sister. Definitely worth $45 for the two years we got out of it!

I use these techniques for myself as well!  Since I'm a photographer, I've bought dresses, high quality costumes, and more for photoshoots that are used several times a year.  My steam punk dress doubles as a pirate dress, and the corsets and petticoats I bought to shoot pinup have been used for pinup, burlesque, and other shoots, and in addition to using the costumes for multiple shoots, I've personally worn everything in my costume closet to various events through out the year!

Additionally, buying items after Halloween like hats, makeup, cloaks and capes, and other accessories allow you to get the pieces that turn next year's sweats or skirt into a ninja or cowboy costume at 75% - 90% off!

With a little creativity and planning, plus some makeup and craft supplies, you can get the most bang for your costume buck, and ensure that your costumes are used throughout the year!

Read More

Kavanaugh, Cosby, and Your Kids

I had promised myself that I wouldn't post another blog until I had something happy or uplifting to write (there are a few waiting in the wings that I haven't posted because they don't meet this requirement).  My goal is never to depress my readers, but to engage and offer optimism at the very least.

I'm breaking that promise.  

The current news cycle, focusing heavily on Judge Brett Kavanaugh (and to a lesser extent the sentencing of Bill Cosby) has brought some thing very important to my attention, and so I feel I must address it. 

Let me begin by saying that, no matter where you stand on Kavanaugh (or Cosby), whether you believe him or his attacker, there are lessons that you, as a parent, sibling, friend, aunt, uncle, or spouse need to learn.  

All week long, at work, in conversation, and on social media, I've encountered the same questions and comments:

• "Why did she wait so long?"
• "It's a conspiracy to take down a good man."
• "His life will be ruined."
• "His good reputation/the good he's done in the world will be tarnished."
• "Why now?"
• "She has no proof"
• "Look at all the people who are speaking on his behalf."
• "She's lying"
• "Why was she at his house/his hotel/a party/there with so many boys?"
• "She was drinking/on drugs. She took the beer/Quaalude.  Am I going to be accused of rape every time I have 'faded' sex?"
• "Why can't she remember who was there/how she got home/other details."

You may have even asked these questions yourself.  You may even think they are completely valid questions. But these questions may be the reason your child or loved one never tells you about their assault.

Let's look at some statistics:

• One in three women experienced some form of unwanted sexual contact violence in their lifetime
• One in six men experienced some form of unwanted sexual contact  or violence in their lifetime
• Up to 30% of victims of unwanted sexual contact or violence experience it before age 18. 
• LESS THAN 40% of rapes and sexual assaults are reported. 
• Only  between 2% and 10% of rape accusations are false. (the most accepted number is 8%)

To break that down, according to the FBI, in 2017, 135,755 rapes were reported. At the high end, 40%, that means that potentially 339,387 rapes occurred. 203632 were UNREPORTED.   Additionally, 33% of women and 16% of men have experienced sexual assault, and 30% before 18.  That means that if you know 9 women, 3 of them have experienced sexual violence, and 1 of them was a child.  That also means there is a 16% chance your daughter will experience it before age 18, and 33% chance it will happen in her life time. There is a 16% your son will experience unwanted sexual contact in his lifetime, possibly as a child.

What you are saying now will determine if your child comes to you when this happens.  You are setting the expectation of if you will believe them, and if you do, if you will blame them.

If your child sees your posts blaming a woman for her rape because she was at a party, or drinking,  will they feel comfortable coming to you and telling you they were assaulted at a party?

If your loved one hears you say repeatedly that women who report are liars, will they think you will believe them?  If you view every story with doubt, how will they trust you not to doubt them?

If  you consistently talk about the accused's reputation, good standing, or bright future, how will your child be comfortable telling you about the "good Christian", the "pillar of the community", that has terrorized them?

If someone is discredited because they waited too long to report, what incentive is there for the adults in your life to open up to you about their own long buried trauma?

If you label every missing detail as a sign of dishonesty, how will they share their story, which their own PTSD has left full of holes, with you?

The only pain greater than assault is the pain of not being believed, or of those you love simply not caring.

I am not advising you to form a death squad every time an accusation is made - "Innocent until proven guilty" in a benchmark of our legal system.  

I am advising you to change your way of speaking about sexual assault. I am asking you to consider all possibilities, to always be open to an investigation, and to, above all, to listen before you speak, even when what you are hearing makes you uncomfortable. Hold your disbelief.  

When you listen to the stories of others, with the intent to understand, you show your loved ones that you are willing to listen to them as well, when they are ready to tell you. 

If you have been a victim of attempted or completed sexual violence, or assault, there are people who believe you.  Please contact Rainn to speak to someone via confidential chat at https://www.rainn.org/ or via phone at 800.656.4673.  

You are loved. You are believed. This is not your fault. 

Links: 

http://nwvu.org/2018-sexual-assault-awareness-month-statistics-and-theme/

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/ny-news-number-rapes-reported-rises-20180924-story.html

Read More

Sticky Notes & Blank Boxes

I had this great planner post planned for y’all, talking about how much I love my Happy Planner and how helpful it’s been in helping me at least somewhat control the chaos and how I use the pretty stickers I’ve found and/or made and the usefulness of sticky notes (you know the kind- you’ve seen a thousand of them!), but it didn’t end up working out the way if planned (much like everything else in my life!)

You see, as I was getting ready to get pictures and adding my pain tracker stickers I made, I was becoming upset at how many “boxes” of things I’d put in the calendar to be done were left unfinished at the end of the week.  I was feeling rather unaccomplished, and down on myself, and was going to scrap the post, when I realized that I was ignoring the REAL post hiding in my planner!

Y’all, it’s so easy to be hard on ourselves. It’s easy to look at what hasn’t been accomplished and let the ugly voice in our heads tell us we’re failures, but maybe THAT is my lesson to learn today.

This week, there have been several days where I have run out of spoons. Pain and exhaustion have just gotten the best of me, and most of my tasks have remained undone.

But there’s plenty that has been done. 

I know that, when my AS is flaring up, I have to limit myself. I can cook AND clean, but if I do that, I can’t go to work. Or, I can go to work AND cook dinner, but I can’t clean. I know, that at the most, I can accomplish 2 of these things, but almost never all three.  It’s not plausible, and attempting to do so can derail the entire week.

One way that I’ve unintentionally built this flexibility into my planner is via the use of sticky notes.  Priority tasks  and inflexible tasks, like work, for example, are inked into my planner in the correct color. Less high priority tasks, like craft projects, and tasks with some flexibility, like cleaning under the sofa, are put on sticky notes.  This allows me a certain flexibility. Didn’t get the ironing done Monday? Move the sticky note to Wednesday. 

Arg!  Not a single "check box" checked!  That's ok!  Move it to another day!

It’s important not to be too hard on ourselves.  It’s important to acknowledge our successes, while tackling our failures.  As my health is often fragile, I have to remind myself to prioritize, and to give myself time and rest. 

Sometimes, we need to allow ourselves some sticky notes and blank boxes in life’s calendar. 

How do you build flexibility into your life?

Read More

I Can’t Even

Ya’ll.  I can’t even today.
Can’t even walk. Can’t even sit up straight. Can’t even play with my  planner. Can’t even write my friend a letter. Can’t even sleep. I can’t even breathe comfortably.


I have used up all my spoons today, plus some, and I just can’t even.


If you aren’t familiar with the terms “spoons” or “spoonies”, a “spoon” is an analogy for the amount of energy required to complete a basic task, as described by Christine Miserandino, and a “Spoonie” is someone suffering from chronic pain or illness. In my case, my AS is stealing my spoons.



Now, if you’ve read previous MNAVB blog entries, it’s at this point you would expect me to try to offer some positive insight, or a “here are 10000 tips for living with pain”, or some similar bit intended to give both you and me hope.

But tonight? Tonight I can’t even.


The fact is, sometimes life sucks and we need a moment to feel sorry for ourselves. Sometimes we need to wallow in self-pity for a little bit. We need to feel sympathy and acknowledge how damn hard the struggle can be at times, whether that struggle is physical, mental, spiritual, financial, or otherwise.


Feeling sorry for yourself every once in a while isn’t weakness, taking a break isn’t a weakness, falling down isn’t a weakness. You just have to get back up again.


As for me, guys and gals, I’m going to save my trusty blog app, lay my phone down, and try to stockpile some spoons for tomorrow.




Are you a Spoonie, or do you know a Spoonie? What are your favorite tips for getting through a low-spoon or no-spoon day?

Read More

The Benefits of Friendship

Ladies and gentlemen, there are very few things in the world with more value than a good friend. Whether a pen pal from across the country, the neighbor next door, or someone a few hours down the road, having someone who you can talk to can be the difference between surviving in life, and life being enjoyable.

I am blessed with great friends! My friend. Shelby, for example, is a first rate make up artist and hair stylist. Twice now she’s driven hours to do my make up for an event, or, tonight, to whip up a fun new color, cut, and style for my hair, free of charge!  I am FEELING the love.

And, according to research, all the love I feel from my friends can have long term, life altering benefits! 

According to Psychology Today, friends are important to our development and mental health. Among the impact friends have on us, friends support you, help define your priorities, and help you feel less lonely.  Friends help us develop as children, find our place as teens, and navigate the trials of life as adults. 

Additional research shows that having friends can lessen risk of death in cancer patients and people with heart conditions, and increase longevity. A 2006 study shows that women suffering breast cancer are 4 times as likely to survive if they have a circle of close friends, regardless of how close they live to those friends. In fact, friends are more important to the success rates of cancer survivors than even family or spouses, making friendships some of the most important relationships of your life!  Rebecca G. Adams, a professor of sociology at the University of North Carolina, Greensboro says of her research on friendships, “Friendship has a bigger impact on our psychological well-being than family relationships.”

My BFF Shelby - Isn't she GORGEOUS?!?

For me, the psychological benefit is almost always instantaneous. When I’m in a foul mood, texting a friend or writing a letter can lighten it. When I’m stressed, my friends can usually get me laughing to help reduce my stress. 

And in a truly bad month, a friend going out of her way to let me know she cares can be the best medicine of all.

Who is your best friend? What impact do they have on your life? Let me know in the comments!

Read More

Combatting Stress

It’s been an especially long time since my last post, and we’ve been through what seems like a million changes, but the one thing that is alike for both non-parents and parents of all types- biological parent, adopted parents, kinship parents, grandparents, and everyone in between- has inspired tonight’s post.

Stress. We all feel it. Whether it’s financial worries, a term paper, a past approaching deadline at work, or the myriad of stresses that tiny humans bring, it seems that it’s always hanging around.

Due to mental health project I’ve been working on, stress has been on my mind lately.  Not just the causes of stress, which are many, but the physical and mental implications, and how to decrease stress’s impact as well.

In small doses, stress can actually be beneficial to us. According to a 2014 article by ulifeline.org, stress can boost the immune system to help prevent infection, help improve focus to help us knock out a big project, or help improve memory.  Unfortunately, stress never seems to show up in “small doses”.

Unfortunately, stress seldom shows up in small doses.  In larger doses, stress can negatively impact our health, causing higher blood pressure, immune problems, and long term heart damage.   It's important to control our stress levels in order to minimize long term physical and mental health repercussions.

One of the most important traits we can achieve is self-awareness. By obtaining the ability to be self-aware, we can protect ourselves against physical and mental health concerns, including stress.  By recognizing our stress triggers, we can attempt to avoid them.  I use a journal page, which I'll be releasing soon, to track my moods and possible stressors.  You can easily do the same in an app, on a calendar, or in your diary.

For stress that cannot be avoided, there are steps we can take to minimize its impact.   According to WebMD, the following tips might help you in reducing stress:
1. Meditate
2. Breathe Deeply
3. Be present
4. Reach Out to others
5. Tune in to Your Body
6. Decompress with warm towels, massage, etc.
7. Laugh
8. Listen to music
9. Exercise
10. Count your blessings

I would add a few other suggestions to that list:
1. Splurge a little
It doesn't need to be expensive, but a small splurge can lift your spirits.  For me, a Pumpkin Spice Latte does the trick.  Maybe a new nail color, or a paperback book would be the boost you need.
2. Surround yourself with relaxing smells.
Again, pumpkin spice is an instantaneous relaxant for me. Vanilla helps.  I especially like to add those scents to …
3. A warm bath.
A warm bubble bath helps relax the muscles and decompress after a long day.  With some Epson salt, low lights or candles, and a cup of tea or coffee,  and I'm ready to take on the world again!




As I suffer from both Ankylosing Spondylitis, and Borderline Personality Disorder, stress has a very strong effect on both my physical and mental health, so I've made a habit of self-awareness, with the goal of preventing too much stress.  I avoid people and situations that stress me out whenever possible, and when it can't be avoided, I buy myself (or make myself, as I roast my own coffee beans and keep a small supply of flavored creamer on hand) a latte (or a vodka!), run a hot bath, and grab a book or run on my apple music, and take 15-20 minutes to reduce the stress as much as I can.


What stresses you out the most, and what techniques work best to control it? Let me know in the comments below!

Read More