#SundayFunday: Yummy Valentine's Day Gift for Teachers

Popcorn Balls and Rice Krispy Treats Make a Yummy Gift for Teachers

Gift for Teachers

In the Spirit of the upcoming holiday, we whipped up a gift teachers are sure to love!    These delicious treats are yummy, easy for even littles to make, and inexpensive enough to cover every teacher the big kids see during the day!

INGREDIENTS:

POPCORN BALLS

• 2 bags of microwave popcorn

  

  Marshmallows and chocolate chips

• 1 tsp butter
• 10 oz bag mini marshmallows
• chocolate chips

RICE KRISPY TREATS

• 10 oz marshmallows
• 3 tsp butter
• 6 cups rice krispys

INSTRUCTIONS:

POPCORN BALLS:

1. Melt 1/2 marshmallows and 1/2 chocolate chips with 1 tsp butter on medium heat on stove
2. Pop 1 bag popcorn, pour it in a big mixing bowl
3. Pour the rest of the chocolate chips and marshmallows in bowl
4. Pop the other bag of popcorn and pour it over the marshmallows, chocolate, and popcorn. Mix thoroughly
5. Pour the melted marshmallows and chocolate over the popcorn mixture and mix more.
6. Using clean hands, form the gooey mix into balls, and let cool

Yummy!

RICE KRISPY TREATS:

1. Melt 10 oz bag of marshmallows with 4 tsp butter on medium heat on stove
2. When fully melted, mix in 6 cups of rice krispy cereal. 
3. Mix until cereal is fully coated.
4. Press into prepared dish to cool *
5. Once cool, use cookie cutters to cut treats into hearts, etc (We used lips and mustaches)

*To prep baking dish, spray with cooking spray

To present the yummy gifts, line a decorative box or basket with tissue paper and place 1-2 pop corn balls and 2-4 rice krispy treats in the box.  Make sure every thing is FULLY COOLED before placing in box or it will stick to paper. I advise placing them all in the fridge first.

 Close and present.

We had to make two batches, because the first batch got all eaten up!!

Let me know how they turn out in the comments below.

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Avoiding a Day Care Nightmare

Finding the right fit for your special needs child

Trey got kicked out of Day Care today.

They say he had a melt down and started hitting and kicking.

It Went Something like this

Sadly, I know this is likely true. He's done it at home. He has behavioral problems, most likely associated with his (severe) adhd.

Finding a day care is hard in any situation. It's hard to choose who to trust your children to. It's difficult to balance the need to work with the guilt of someone else caring for your children. You worry because you don't really know the person, you just know what various websites, references, and your own interviews tell you. Sometimes, you aren't even sure then. Sometimes, life dictates that you are stuck with who you can get.

It's worse when a child has special needs like Trey does. Having a special needs child adds extra worries, and requires extra steps, to ensure they can handle his outbursts, his anxieties, or what ever else crops up.

As I'm new to this, I didn't take all necessary precautions, but I did learn an important lesson, and I'm sharing that with you today.

Avoiding the Day Care Nightmare: Steps to take

1. Acknowledge any special needs.  Make sure that you mention any special concerns up front.  Things to mention include allergies, anxieties, physical or mental limitations, psychological or behavioral problems, and anything from the child's home life or background that could cause concern, including recent relocations, foster care, divorce, new babies, or changes to the family dynamic.
2. Discuss the facilities ability to handle these needs.  Even though I had mentioned Trey's behavioral problems, and his family history, I did not take the time to ensure that the day care could handle his outbursts.  I found out later that they had never had a special needs child, including one with adhd or on the  autism spectrum.  Not only were they woefully incapable of handling him, but they exasperated the problems.
3. Advise them on proper techniques.  If there are certain techniques to diffuse his outbursts, ensure that they know them and can do them.
4. Seek additional help. Some state wic or health department offices provide assistance, including going to the facility and observing and training the day care workers.
5. Trust your instincts. If something seems wrong, it probably is.  Watch for key words like "bad", "naughty", etc, as well as cues from your child that the facility isn't a good fit.
6. Don't be afraid to say it isn't working. A Day care is like a job- your child spends a lot of time there, every week. Sometimes, we adults find ourselves in jobs we aren't suited for; likewise, the day care may not be a good fit for your child. If he or she isn't happy, if he is anxious about going or fakes sick, or if you are getting complaints about your child, it is time to move on. 

Finding a good day care for a child with special needs is vital to your child's success there, and his or her happiness.   Open communication and a few extra precautions can help avoid a day care nightmare.

Happy Kids

Have you ever had day care problems? What are your success secrets?

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Turning the "Me-Can'ts" into the "I Cans"

Instilling confidence in your kids

Yes, you can!

The little girls are doing glitter-art while I fix lunch. Cay has already unleashed a flood of glitter onto her paper, when all of a sudden, I hear her utter the  dreaded "me-can't".

"Mommy, Me-Can't do it!"

But I know she can, because she's been doing it for several minutes.

Life as a kid is hard!

The Reality of Childhood

Contrary to what we adults would like to believe, childhood isn't a beautiful, worry free existence full  of juice boxes, fingerpaints, and naps (beautiful, glorious naps).  Childhood is hard.  Childhood is full of adventures, and misadventures. It's testing boundaries - physical, mental, and societal.  Childhood includes a lot of trial and errors, bumps and bruises, and lots of failures.
It's learning to walk and falling off bikes, and lots of failures before successes.

Beware the Me-Can'ts !

We have to help them get on the bike again.

With so many bikes to fall off of, so many strikes instead of home runs, so many things to learn and things to be bad at, it can be tempting for a child to stop trying and just say, "Me Can't!"

"I can't solve this problem, it's too hard."
"I can't be her friend, my friends will tease me." 
"I can't say no, or they won't like me."

That's where we, as parents, have to step in, and do our jobs.  We have to teach them how to say, "I can!"

Instilling confidence in our kids is our biggest gift to them.  Confidence enables them to be kind when those around them are being cruel, it enables them to stand their ground and say no when others are saying yes.  It enables them to  get back on the bike. 

How to Turn "Me-Can'ts" into "I Cans"

There are some simple steps to turn those "Me-can'ts" into "I cans".

1. Gauge the situation.  Is this something the child legitimately can do at this stage, or are they being pushed into territory that doesn't allow them success?   It is reasonable to expect the average toddler to pour a bowl of cereal, but not to prepare a 3 course meal.  Set reasonable expectations.   Pushing a child past their actual limits can guarantee failure, and reinforce the idea of "can't".


2. Determine the cause of the  "Can't".  Is your child saying she can't  because she doesn't have the skill, or because she doesn't know how?  Perhaps you can sit with her and give her simple directions and encouragement.  Is he saying he can't because he lacks confidence?  Try doing it together the first time to boost his confidence a little.  Maybe he's scared to try something new.  The Monkey Bars seem high, or he's afraid he might fall off the playground.  Show him why it's safe, or what safety measures there are to keep him from falling. Perhaps she just wants a little attention.  As the parent of 6 children, I am especially guilty of multitasking, which robs the kids of the one on one time they need. Cay, especially, uses "Me-Can't" as a way to get mom's attention. I can usually overcome this "Me-Can't" by sitting with Cay, paying her some extra attention, mixed with extra praise, until her mommy-cup is full, and she is happy to play without me again.





Repeat after me: "This is OK"



3. Allow some room for failure. Accept that there will be mistakes, and let that be ok.  This one was hard for me to learn, especially as the number of children increased.  It was hard for me to accept that my way wasn't the only way.  Once I relaxed and let the kids do things that way, we were all happier.  I realized that it's ok if the glitter snowflakes are messy, if the tie-dye looks more like a mud-pie, and if their hands have more paint than their pictures.  In accepting that, I made it ok for them to be perfectly imperfect.  By allowing failure to happen, kids become less afraid of failure, which gives them more chances to succeed.


4. Reinforce the "Can".  Offer Praise and encouragement.   Celebrate the little successes, so that they have the confidence to go after the big ones.  Remind them of the great job they are doing.


5. Be there for support.  Be there, nearby, to offer encouragement, and a sense of safety, but don't do it for them.  Demonstrate once, then turn it over to them. Doing it for them reinforces the idea that they can't do it, and rewards them for lazy behavior.  It teaches them that, if they can't do it, Mom or Dad will.  This undermines their confidence, as they never have a chance to succeed on their own.

"Mommy, I DID IT!"

"Yes, you can, Cay-Cay," I replied as I stood next to her. "Look how pretty it is!   You're doing a great job!  What color do you want next?"

I opened the purple glitter and watched intently as she worked, until I got the feeling she no longer needed me.

A few minutes later, I heard her call me again, "Mommy, I did it, all by myself!!"

Ahhhh... the blessed "I can".

What do you do to instill confidence and turn your kids' "Me-Can'ts" into "I Cans"?

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Awesome Mom: Small Victories in the World of Parenting

The time I became the Awesome Mom

Today, I discovered that, in my daughter's circle of friends, I'm the awesome mom.


My interest was piqued. In my experience, growing up, the 'cool' mom was the one who let her kids drink, smoke, hold raucous parties, and stay out all night. I don't allow any of that.

I had to know.

What, exactly, makes an awesome mom?

I'm feeling myself today

• According to D, all of her friends think I'm pretty (I've never considered myself more than cute). Superficial, perhaps, but  I let myself bask in it for a few moments.

• I'm pro-gay-rights. Apparently, my refusal to touch a chikfila scored big points, along with my willingness to perform gay marriages.

Score one for civil rights

• I don't care what color her hair is, as long as it doesn't get her kicked out of school, even though I don't think hair color has ANY impact on learning.

Self-expression: Jada would be proud

Restrictions? Who knew?!?

Mostly, though, I care.

According to D, it matters that I let my children express them selves (i.e. " You let me wear whatevs"), but I don't allow anything illegal or harmful.

I'm pleased to know that, amongst the list of things that modern teenagers consider awesome, a parent who cares and has restrictions is awesome.

Getting it right? Victory!

Just give me my star already

I think, as parents, we all question if we are doing the right things, if we are doing well. Especially in the turbulent teenage years. While I've never thought my daughters hated me, I've wondered if, perhaps I've failed to given them all of myself, or if they resented my long hours, the additional children, or my brash ways and outspoken style.










It's wonderful to know that, for the time being at least, I'm an awesome mom. (Jada would be so proud!)

Yup, this is pretty much what it felt like

What were your Parenting Victories this week?

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Dealing With The State: Who's Your Daddy?

I can feel the tension spreading across my back - always carry tension in my back and shoulders - and the pain from the ensuing muscle spasms makes it hard to breathe. My head hurts. I'm. Emotionally exhausted. I've been reduced to tears of frustration at least once today, and waves of helplessness and hopelessness have crashed over me through out the day.

Fostering, or what ever it is I'm doing, is never easy. There are countless struggles and pitfalls, but none are as debilitating as dealing with The State.


 Dealing with the state is like being tossed in a deep, dark labyrinth. You don't where to turn, there's no one to trust, and some where not too far off, you hear a minotaur.

k

When we got Trey and Chel, we were so focused on doing what was right for the kids, that we rushed in blind. We were told we had only a week to pick them up. We assumed someone from one state or the other would be there to assist us. We didn't have time or money for a lawyer. With weeks, we discovered we'd discovered that this was a huge mistake. We've been punished for it ever since.

Today's ordeal centered around child support, or lack thereof.

Kids Need Structure

Because of Trey's behavioral problems, associated with severe ADHD, he sees a behavioral therapist. Her evaluation is that he needs a structured educational setting, but he's too young for school.




Because Arizona "dropped the ball" (aka didn't give a damn about those kids), they are put under my income, and qualify for none of the assistance foster kids usually get. Arizona has never called to check up on them, never inquired on their progress, never returned a single one of the countless calls placed to them seeking assistance in getting these children the aid they need to grow and become happy and successful. The state of OK finally agreed to place them in day care three days days a week (though the daycare was woefully incapable of assisting them).


ii




Then, this happened.

Who's Your Daddy?

Last month, they sent me letters of "non-compliance" from the Child Support division. I advised that I did not know who the fathers were, and that kids are my niece and nephew, and I hadn't been there for conception.


Apparently, my lack of knowledge was construed as lack of cooperation.
  
I called back to find out how to correct the problem, and was told that they couldn't even find the account because they don't have the father's name!

We've found ourselves back at square one: Making too much money to get into a good Headstart program, which is necessary for controlling Trey's ADHD and ensuring his success in school next year. Making too little money to afford the level of help he needs on our own. Wandering endlessly in this twisting, turning maze, fearing the minotaur.

Have you ever dealt with the state? Do you have experience fostering?

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#SundayFunday: Miniature Bird Houses

A Cute birthday birdhouses

An easy, inexpensive craft project for kids




This inexpensive bird hose and some paint make a great kid's project



Grampy's birthday is next weekend, so we decided to make birthday presents for #SundayFunday.  Gramps is an avid birdwatcher, and a huge Dallas Cowboys fan, so we whipped up some mini birdhouses, in blue, white, and grey.

These birdhouses can be found in Walmart in the craft aisle, or get a dozen in bulk straight to your door from Amazon.   The paints are also available from Walmart or from amazon - we chose patio and outdoor paint.


The project itself was pretty straight forward and easy, so in general, I would let the kids paint them as they pleased, but today, the big kids and I provided slightly more supervision.

Using our Dallas colored paint, we painted our birdhouses appropriate colors.

For an additional personal touch, I painted each kid's hand in a contrasting color, and placed it on the back, side, or roof of the house.

We then allowed the houses to dry.  For houses that will be exposed to the elements, it is suggested that you follow up with a clear coat varnish or protestant.

I'd love to see your completed birdhouses! Share them in the comments below!

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The Always Present Danger

The Hidden Danger In Your Medicine Cabinet

As parents, we teach our children to avoid drugs. We warn them about pot, meth, coke. We warn

them about tobacco and alcohol.  We have D.A.R.E and we talk about the drugs in health class.  We think of dealers in dark alley ways, packets of coke smuggled in by mules, cartels streaming across borders.  What we don't talk about are the dangers hiding in our own medicine cabinets.

The Human Aspect

In 2014, there were over 47,000 deaths from Prescription drug overdose.  That is 1 1/2 times the number of deaths from car accident.

This epidemic has had a personal impact on our family.  In 2008, we lost my step-father to an accidental overdose of pain medication.  In 2011, we lost my niece to an overdose of oxycotin. Recently, we lost my brother in law.  


For us, the numbers aren't just statistics - they are names.  They are grandchildren who will never go fishing with a grandfather.  They are college dreams and senior proms and graduations and marriages that will never happen.  They are small children growing up with out a parent. They are grieving parents, siblings, spouses, children, and friends.

The Risk Factors

According to the CDC:

Research shows that some risk factors make people particularly vulnerable to prescription painkiller abuse and overdose, including:

•   Obtaining overlapping prescriptions from multiple providers and pharmacies.^1,2,3,4
• Taking high daily dosages of prescription painkillers.^2,5,6,7
• Having mental illness or a history of alcohol or other substance abuse.⁸
• Living in rural areas and having low income.

Medicaid Patients

• Inappropriate provider prescribing practices and patient use are substantially higher among Medicaid patients than among privately insured patients.
• In one study based on 2010 data, 40% of Medicaid enrollees with painkiller prescriptions had at least one indicator of potentially inappropriate use or prescribing:⁹
  • overlapping painkiller prescriptions
  • overlapping painkiller and benzodiazepine prescriptions
  • long-acting or extended release prescription painkillers for acute pain and high daily doses  ("What the Public Needs to Know about the Epidemic")

Prevention

There are some steps that one can take to help prevent misuse or abuse:

Courtesy of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

  

Talk with your doctor about:

• The risks of prescription painkillers and other ways to manage your pain.
• Making a plan on when and how to stop, if a choice is made to use prescription painkillers.

Use prescription painkillers only as instructed by your doctor.

Store prescription painkillers in a safe place and out of reach of others.

Help prevent misuse and abuse by not selling or sharing prescription painkillers. Never use another person's prescription painkillers. ("What the Public Needs to Know about the Epidemic")

Also, when disposing of old, expired, or unneeded medications, there are prescription disposal locations in most communities.  However, if there is not one in your community, follow these steps:

1. Remove the label from the bottle. 
2. Do not flush the medication, as it will enter the water system. 
3. Instead, pour the medication into a ziplock bag. 
4. Crush it (if in pill or tablet form), and add hot water to dissolve the medication. 
5. Empty coffee grounds into the mixture as well, to make it unappetizing to both humans and animals, and dispose of the bag in the trash.

The Warning Signs

The Mayo Clinic provides the following as signs of drug abuse:

Stealing, forging or selling prescriptions

Taking higher doses than prescribed

Excessive mood swings or hostility

Increase or decrease in sleep

Poor decision-making

Appearing to be high, unusually energetic or revved up, or sedated

Continually "losing" prescriptions, so more prescriptions must be written

Seeking prescriptions from more than one doctor  ("Prescription drug abuse")

Seeing this signs in a friend or relative may indicate a cause for concern.

What To Do If  You Suspect Abuse

If you suspect drug abuse by a friend or loved one, your support will be important.  You may contact medical professionals, treatment groups, or agencies such as drugabuse.gov to seek additional information.  While you can not force someone to seek treatment in most cases without seeking the aid of the court, you can provide support and incentives for them to do so.

Additionally, if you suspect a loved one of having a problem, seek out counseling services to assist you in dealing with the aftermath and effect, as it can be very stressful for those associated with the addict as well.

1-800-662-HELP (4357) is a fantastic service from the Department of Human Services for those battling addiction, and for their loved ones.

What the Public Needs to Know about the Epidemic." Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 5 May 2015. Web. 16 Jan. 2016.

"Prescription Drug Abuse." Symptoms. Web. 16 Jan. 2016.

 

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Fits and Tantrums

Today was a rough one.

Most of the day was spent with family, making funeral preparations for my brother-in-law, which carries an expected amount of stress.


The real difficultly was waiting at home.

My nephew, Trey, has some behavioral issues that we are trying address. His ADHD is rather severe, and his outbursts can be difficult at best. We had been making real, measurable progress - to the point that meals and outings in public were real possibilities, and he could be easily redirected when necessary. Some days, I even felt confident enough to take several of the children shopping by myself.

This winning streak ended, however, once he started day care. There are days now that I fear I may have to quit my job and stay home with him, which is not only fiscally impossible, but would result in me being a horrible bitch. Though I know this confession will being a torrent of mom-judging raining down on me, I will admit it: I hate being at home 24/7. I'm a terrible cook, a terrible housekeeper, and having a dream to chase keeps me breathing.

Trey is actually a wonderful child. He is big hearted, happy, and eager to please. I love him dearly and unconditionally, but the word unconditionally in and of itself implies a struggle to overcome.  His outbursts often escalate to the point when physical restraint is warranted. We work with a behavioral specialist weekly, utilizing play therapy, redirection, and other methods. Some days are better than others.  His behavioral therapists suggest highly structured, regulated class time. Headstart is the least regulated environment they suggest. Unfortunately, due to mishandling of their case by Arizona, he doesn't qualify for the program, and my income exceeds guidelines; we're stuck in limbo, unable to provide the help he needs.

Which brings us back to today. Today, Trey's meltdowns were horrendous. Between 5:00 and 6:15, we had no less than 5 meltdowns. There was kicking and screaming, throwing himself on the floor, hitting, throwing things, throwing things at people... there were timeouts, grounding exercises, removal from the room.... nothing worked.

Today, bath and bedtime couldn't come soon enough.

How do you handle tantrums and meltdowns?

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Jada Pinkett Smith Is My Parenting Spirit Animal

Why I Mom-Stalk Jada.

I love Jada Pinkett Smith. I mom-stalk her.  I lap up everything she says about parenting, mothering, marriage, like a kitten laps milk. She speaks to me. I swear, she's my spirit animal.

But...her kids are so weird....

I see this a lot on social media,  on other blogs .... people

Not my Meme.

don't get Jaden and Willow. They talk about time travel, they cross dress, they shave their heads. 

This is what Jada does best. She allows her children to exist, to experiment, and to be themselves, regardless of what the world seems to think. (For the record, I think that her kids are often misunderstood and misrepresented by the media, but perhaps this is because my own kids are 'weird'.)

A Little Support Here?

I fell in mom-love with Jada when Willow shaved her head. 

I know what you're thinking: "What!?! She let her kid shave her head, like Crazy Britney, and you're OK with that?!?"

No, I'm not OK with it. I love it.  I was the kid in school who cut her hair for a school play, who once lopped off 14 inches of hair because I was bored. I've always felt that it's just hair.

When my 5 yr old wanted to put red streaks in her hair, I was all for it. I thought, "It's just hair, and furthermore, it's HER hair, not mine."

But everyone else thought I was crazy. I started to second guess myself.

Then Jada said this about Willow's hair. And I thought, "Hey, I'm not wrong about this! Finally, a little support!"  Punk has added a new color to her hair every time I dye mine (which is a lot), and she's thrilled, everyone has gotten used to it, and she learned that her body, and her choices matter.

When my nephew decides to wear his cousin's Anna Costume to play Frozen with the girls, and I don't freak out, I know Jada would agree. When people in Walmart give me dirty looks for telling the kids there are no girls' toys or boys' toys, there are just toys, or there are no boy's colors or girl's colors, there are just colors, I know Jada would have my back. 

Finding balance

The video at the top of this post is old -2012- but the

My spirit-animal looks amazing here.

message holds true, and is one that a lot of people need to hear even today.  Thanks, Jada. Thanks for reminding us that we matter, we have the right to be happy, and that in being happy, fulfilled, and complete, we become better mothers, better wives, and better people.

Who is your parenting spirit animal? Shout it out in the comments below.

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#SundayFunday: Pet Rocks

The pet you never have to feed!

A  pet rock family, made by a 3 yr old.

Today's goal was an easy, cheap project, that allowed for lots of mess! (Because, let's be honest, mess is the kids' favorite part.) We settled on Pet Rocks, because they're fun, there's paint involved, and they are SOOO cheap. They are made, literally, with stuff from your back yard, plus few things most moms have around the house. If, however, you are needing supplies, the amazon ad below has them all listed, as does the Mommy Must Have's store. You can also mosey on down to WalMart.

Supplies

Supplies:



Every mom needs a bucket of these.

• Rocks (1-2 per kid) - flat surfaced one's look best
• Paint- Washable
• Paint brushes
• Googly eyes or buttons
• Paper or cloth
• Sharpies
• Glue

Pick Some Pets

Wander out to the nearest rock quarry....or your yard, whichever is most convenient. Choose the rocks the kiddos want to adopt.

Your Pets need a bath...

Your new pets will be slightly (or really) dirty, so give them a good bath, then dry them off.

Give them a good Bath

Paint

Prep your work area, and pull out the paint. Let the messiness begin!

Painting time. 

Once the first side is painted, it will need to dry. This is a good time for snack and naps!

 


Paint the other side, and more drying....
This may be a good point for Doc McStuffin's Operation, which is currently our favorite game...

We used this time to play Ninja Turtle.

Buttons make great eyes

Give Them Some Personality

Once all sides are dry, create your pets.


The Sharpies are perfect for drawing faces, spots, feet etc. Give your pets some personality!

Give your pet a face and personality

Glue on buttons or googly eyes for eyes.


Cut ears out of paper or material and glue them on to your pets!  Floppy  cloth ears are the CUTEST (Craft felt is great for this!), and Paper makes great stand up ears like mouse, rabbit, or cat ears.

We used paper, but felt would have made better ears

Give Them A Home

While the glue dries, you may choose to make a habitat or bed for your new pet.  We decided to forgoe this, however, in favor of dinner, baths, and bed.

A Pet Rock Mouse

Now, name your pets, and make sure to give them lots of love and care!!

We'd love to hear  and see how your pet rocks turned out! Share in the comments below!

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