Awesome Mom: Small Victories in the World of Parenting

The time I became an Awesome Mom!

#SundayFunday: Miniature Bird Houses

Painting Miniature Birdhouses for #SundayFunday Crafts.

Turning Me-Can'ts into I Cans

Inspiring confidence in your kids

#SundayFunday: Pet Rocks

#SundayFunday Craft Time: Pet Rocks - The Pet you never have to feed!

Monday, January 18, 2016

The Always Present Danger

The Hidden Danger In Your Medicine Cabinet


As parents, we teach our children to avoid drugs. We warn them about pot, meth, coke. We warn
them about tobacco and alcohol.  We have D.A.R.E and we talk about the drugs in health class.  We think of dealers in dark alley ways, packets of coke smuggled in by mules, cartels streaming across borders.  What we don't talk about are the dangers hiding in our own medicine cabinets.


The Human Aspect


In 2014, there were over 47,000 deaths from Prescription drug overdose.  That is 1 1/2 times the number of deaths from car accident.


This epidemic has had a personal impact on our family.  In 2008, we lost my step-father to an accidental overdose of pain medication.  In 2011, we lost my niece to an overdose of oxycotin. Recently, we lost my brother in law.  


For us, the numbers aren't just statistics - they are names.  They are grandchildren who will never go fishing with a grandfather.  They are college dreams and senior proms and graduations and marriages that will never happen.  They are small children growing up with out a parent. They are grieving parents, siblings, spouses, children, and friends.




The Risk Factors

According to the CDC:
Research shows that some risk factors make people particularly vulnerable to prescription painkiller abuse and overdose, including:
  •   Risk factors for prescription opioid pain reliever abuse and overdose: obtaining overlapping prescriptions from multiple providers and pharmacies, taking high daily dosages of prescription opioid pain relievers, having mental illness or a history of alcohol or other substance abuse, living in rural areas and having low income.Obtaining overlapping prescriptions from multiple providers and pharmacies.1,2,3,4
  • Taking high daily dosages of prescription painkillers.2,5,6,7
  • Having mental illness or a history of alcohol or other substance abuse.8
  • Living in rural areas and having low income.

Medicaid Patients

  • Inappropriate provider prescribing practices and patient use are substantially higher among Medicaid patients than among privately insured patients.
  • In one study based on 2010 data, 40% of Medicaid enrollees with painkiller prescriptions had at least one indicator of potentially inappropriate use or prescribing:9
    • overlapping painkiller prescriptions
    • overlapping painkiller and benzodiazepine prescriptions
    • long-acting or extended release prescription painkillers for acute pain and high daily doses  ("What the Public Needs to Know about the Epidemic")

Prevention

There are some steps that one can take to help prevent misuse or abuse:

Every day 44 people in the U.S. die from overdose of prescription painkillers...and many more become addicted.
Courtesy of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
  

Talk with your doctor about:
  • The risks of prescription painkillers and other ways to manage your pain.
  • Making a plan on when and how to stop, if a choice is made to use prescription painkillers.
  • Use prescription painkillers only as instructed by your doctor.
  • Store prescription painkillers in a safe place and out of reach of others.
  • Help prevent misuse and abuse by not selling or sharing prescription painkillers. Never use another person's prescription painkillers. ("What the Public Needs to Know about the Epidemic")


  • Also, when disposing of old, expired, or unneeded medications, there are prescription disposal locations in most communities.  However, if there is not one in your community, follow these steps:
    1. Remove the label from the bottle. 
    2. Do not flush the medication, as it will enter the water system. 
    3. Instead, pour the medication into a ziplock bag. 
    4. Crush it (if in pill or tablet form), and add hot water to dissolve the medication. 
    5. Empty coffee grounds into the mixture as well, to make it unappetizing to both humans and animals, and dispose of the bag in the trash.

    The Warning Signs


    The Mayo Clinic provides the following as signs of drug abuse:
    Stealing, forging or selling prescriptions
  • Taking higher doses than prescribed
  • Excessive mood swings or hostility
  • Increase or decrease in sleep
  • Poor decision-making
  • Appearing to be high, unusually energetic or revved up, or sedated
  • Continually "losing" prescriptions, so more prescriptions must be written
  • Seeking prescriptions from more than one doctor  ("Prescription drug abuse")

  • Seeing this signs in a friend or relative may indicate a cause for concern.


    What To Do If  You Suspect Abuse

    If you suspect drug abuse by a friend or loved one, your support will be important.  You may contact medical professionals, treatment groups, or agencies such as drugabuse.gov to seek additional information.  While you can not force someone to seek treatment in most cases without seeking the aid of the court, you can provide support and incentives for them to do so.


    Additionally, if you suspect a loved one of having a problem, seek out counseling services to assist you in dealing with the aftermath and effect, as it can be very stressful for those associated with the addict as well.


    1-800-662-HELP (4357) is a fantastic service from the Department of Human Services for those battling addiction, and for their loved ones.























    What the Public Needs to Know about the Epidemic." Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 5 May 2015. Web. 16 Jan. 2016.

    "Prescription Drug Abuse." Symptoms. Web. 16 Jan. 2016.



     

    Saturday, January 16, 2016

    Fits and Tantrums

    Today was a rough one.



    Most of the day was spent with family, making funeral preparations for my brother-in-law, which carries an expected amount of stress.


    The real difficultly was waiting at home.

    My nephew, Trey, has some behavioral issues that we are trying address. His ADHD is rather severe, and his outbursts can be difficult at best. We had been making real, measurable progress - to the point that meals and outings in public were real possibilities, and he could be easily redirected when necessary. Some days, I even felt confident enough to take several of the children shopping by myself.

    This winning streak ended, however, once he started day care. There are days now that I fear I may have to quit my job and stay home with him, which is not only fiscally impossible, but would result in me being a horrible bitch. Though I know this confession will being a torrent of mom-judging raining down on me, I will admit it: I hate being at home 24/7. I'm a terrible cook, a terrible housekeeper, and having a dream to chase keeps me breathing.

    Trey is actually a wonderful child. He is big hearted, happy, and eager to please. I love him dearly and unconditionally, but the word unconditionally in and of itself implies a struggle to overcome.  His outbursts often escalate to the point when physical restraint is warranted. We work with a behavioral specialist weekly, utilizing play therapy, redirection, and other methods. Some days are better than others.  His behavioral therapists suggest highly structured, regulated class time. Headstart is the least regulated environment they suggest. Unfortunately, due to mishandling of their case by Arizona, he doesn't qualify for the program, and my income exceeds guidelines; we're stuck in limbo, unable to provide the help he needs.

    Which brings us back to today. Today, Trey's meltdowns were horrendous. Between 5:00 and 6:15, we had no less than 5 meltdowns. There was kicking and screaming, throwing himself on the floor, hitting, throwing things, throwing things at people... there were timeouts, grounding exercises, removal from the room.... nothing worked.

    Today, bath and bedtime couldn't come soon enough.

    How do you handle tantrums and meltdowns?



    Wednesday, January 13, 2016

    Jada Pinkett Smith Is My Parenting Spirit Animal

    Why I Mom-Stalk Jada.



    I love Jada Pinkett Smith. I mom-stalk her.  I lap up everything she says about parenting, mothering, marriage, like a kitten laps milk. She speaks to me. I swear, she's my spirit animal.

    But...her kids are so weird....


    I see this a lot on social media,  on other blogs .... people
    Why Jada is my spirit animal, parenting, non-stop, Jada Pinkett Smith, moms, mothering
    Not my Meme.
    don't get Jaden and Willow. They talk about time travel, they cross dress, they shave their heads. 

    This is what Jada does best. She allows her children to exist, to experiment, and to be themselves, regardless of what the world seems to think. (For the record, I think that her kids are often misunderstood and misrepresented by the media, but perhaps this is because my own kids are 'weird'.)

    A Little Support Here?

    I fell in mom-love with Jada when Willow shaved her head. 

    I know what you're thinking: "What!?! She let her kid shave her head, like Crazy Britney, and you're OK with that?!?"

    No, I'm not OK with it. I love it.  I was the kid in school who cut her hair for a school play, who once lopped off 14 inches of hair because I was bored. I've always felt that it's just hair.

    When my 5 yr old wanted to put red streaks in her hair, I was all for it. I thought, "It's just hair, and furthermore, it's HER hair, not mine."

    But everyone else thought I was crazy. I started to second guess myself.

    Then Jada said this about Willow's hair. And I thought, "Hey, I'm not wrong about this! Finally, a little support!"  Punk has added a new color to her hair every time I dye mine (which is a lot), and she's thrilled, everyone has gotten used to it, and she learned that her body, and her choices matter.

    When my nephew decides to wear his cousin's Anna Costume to play Frozen with the girls, and I don't freak out, I know Jada would agree. When people in Walmart give me dirty looks for telling the kids there are no girls' toys or boys' toys, there are just toys, or there are no boy's colors or girl's colors, there are just colors, I know Jada would have my back. 

    Finding balance


    The video at the top of this post is old -2012- but the
    Why Jada is my spirit animal, parenting, non-stop, Jada Pinkett Smith, moms, mothering
    My spirit-animal looks amazing here.
    message holds true, and is one that a lot of people need to hear even today.  Thanks, Jada. Thanks for reminding us that we matter, we have the right to be happy, and that in being happy, fulfilled, and complete, we become better mothers, better wives, and better people.

    Who is your parenting spirit animal? Shout it out in the comments below.

    Tuesday, January 12, 2016

    #SundayFunday: Pet Rocks

    The pet you never have to feed!

    www.mommyneedsavodkabreak.com, http://mommyneedsavodkabreak.blogspot.com
    A  pet rock family, made by a 3 yr old.

    Today's goal was an easy, cheap project, that allowed for lots of mess! (Because, let's be honest, mess is the kids' favorite part.) We settled on Pet Rocks, because they're fun, there's paint involved, and they are SOOO cheap. They are made, literally, with stuff from your back yard, plus few things most moms have around the house. If, however, you are needing supplies, the amazon ad below has them all listed, as does the Mommy Must Have's store. You can also mosey on down to WalMart.


    Supplies



    Supplies:

    
     craft paint www.mommyneedsavodkabreak.com, http://mommyneedsavodkabreak.blogspot.com
    Every mom needs a bucket of these.
    • Rocks (1-2 per kid) - flat surfaced one's look best
    • Paint- Washable
    • Paint brushes
    • Googly eyes or buttons
    • Paper or cloth
    • Sharpies
    • Glue


    Pick Some Pets

    Wander out to the nearest rock quarry....or your yard, whichever is most convenient. Choose the rocks the kiddos want to adopt.


    www.mommyneedsavodkabreak.com, http://mommyneedsavodkabreak.blogspot.com
    Your Pets need a bath...


    Your new pets will be slightly (or really) dirty, so give them a good bath, then dry them off.
    www.mommyneedsavodkabreak.com, http://mommyneedsavodkabreak.blogspot.com
    Give them a good Bath






    Paint

    Prep your work area, and pull out the paint. Let the messiness begin!

    www.mommyneedsavodkabreak.com, http://mommyneedsavodkabreak.blogspot.com
    Painting time. 



    Once the first side is painted, it will need to dry. This is a good time for snack and naps!







     


    Paint the other side, and more drying....
    This may be a good point for Doc McStuffin's Operation, which is currently our favorite game...

    www.mommyneedsavodkabreak.com, http://mommyneedsavodkabreak.blogspot.com
    We used this time to play Ninja Turtle.






    Buttons make great eyes

    Give Them Some Personality

    Once all sides are dry, create your pets.


    The Sharpies are perfect for drawing faces, spots, feet etc. Give your pets some personality!

    www.mommyneedsavodkabreak.com, http://mommyneedsavodkabreak.blogspot.com
    Give your pet a face and personality


    Glue on buttons or googly eyes for eyes.


    Cut ears out of paper or material and glue them on to your pets!  Floppy  cloth ears are the CUTEST (Craft felt is great for this!), and Paper makes great stand up ears like mouse, rabbit, or cat ears.

    www.mommyneedsavodkabreak.com, http://mommyneedsavodkabreak.blogspot.com
    We used paper, but felt would have made better ears


    Give Them A Home



    While the glue dries, you may choose to make a habitat or bed for your new pet.  We decided to forgoe this, however, in favor of dinner, baths, and bed.

    www.mommyneedsavodkabreak.com
    A Pet Rock Mouse


    Now, name your pets, and make sure to give them lots of love and care!!


    We'd love to hear  and see how your pet rocks turned out! Share in the comments below!



    Monday, January 11, 2016

    Finding Real Romance in Marriage



     It's not candy and roses

    finding real romance in marriagemommyneedsavodkabreak.com
    Candle light dinner


     It's only a month until Valentine's Day, and I'm searching for hotel rooms, in the hopes of a little time away with J.


    The more I think about that, the more it makes me laugh. See, we aren't that couple.  There are no candle lit dinners, no champagne, no sunset beaches. I'm not that girl- the idea of that makes me cringe. We're all-you-can-eat seats at a Rangers game, scary movie, gun range kind of people.




    
    
    
    finding real romance in marriagemommyneedsavodkabreak.com
    My idea of a great date






    The Language of Love?


    They say there are five languages of love (I think?) - ours is not roses and romantic dates.
    
    
    finding real romance in marriagemommyneedsavodkabreak.com
     Love

    Sure, everyone wants spice in their marriage, but as someone who moved from a  short-lived spicy but miserable marriage, to a long-term, stable, happy one, I know that spice isn't what keeps love alive, and a marriage strong.



    Love, and marriage


    Love and marriage require work and sacrifice. The real language of love is giving if yourself.
    
    finding real romance in marriagemommyneedsavodkabreak.com
    Taking care of six kids so I can relax? That's romantic!


    My husband doesn't say he loves me by buying me roses (which I see as a waste of money. Besides, I prefer gerbera daisies, and would much rather have Rangers' tickets!)  - he says he loves me by letting me sleep late on his days off, while he gets up with the kids. He says it by not just letting, but encouraging, me to go out with my friends while he keeps the kids, whether for an hour, or a weekend. He says he loves me by letting me chase dreams, no matter how crazy, or how often they change. He shows me he loves me in little ways, every single day.


    And the end result? After a decade, I'm even more attracted to him than I was when we met. I still find him irresistible. I'm content, I'm happy every day, and that brings plenty of spice on it's own

    
    finding real romance in marriagemommyneedsavodkabreak.com
    Spice between the sheets



    Real Romance

    finding real romance in marriagemommyneedsavodkabreak.com
    Long term romance

    That's what romance is, though. It's long lasting. It's daily. It's constant. It's not something that
    happens on Valentine's and anniversaries - its every moment. It's lightening each others loads. It's respect, support, encouragement.


    And it's a helluva lot better than candlelight and roses.



    What does your spouse do to romance you on a daily basis? Share your thoughts in the comments below!








    Sunday, January 10, 2016

    Walking the thin line: Juggling time with kids

    How do you divide your time when you're outnumbered 6:1?



    "Help!  I'm outnumbered!"
    "Surrounded" (C) 2007, Holly


    It's an interesting existence, being an auntie mommy, especially when there are so many kids, especially when they are close in age.




    Follow





    Center of the Universe

    The youngest four kids are 2,3,4, and 6. Still at ages where cuddles and special time for one on one games and lap-time and stories are worth battling over. It's not uncommon for the green eyed monster to swoop in, and almost without warning, the claws come out. Literally. There's scratching, biting, and hair pulling from the younger three, and pouting, interrupting, and crying from the six year old.

    flickr photo, https://www.flickr.com/photos/sevier/3183019934/in/photolist-5L5hwC-5L13ma-5L5gcU-b6Dwea-8o3rgi-Q4b9N-5L5gCm-2QK7T2-5PvACx-nbYA3-5L5i15-4gywhf-5L5gWJ-5YGSNx-694Qgo-Q4FS2-Q4b8Q-5TJqwW-5TJqYy-5RcxT8-so5Jso-sqnHdx-sqnvmM-so4SxJ-8cG2gs-6hM1yr-6hM1Li-5RgPFS-5RgPn1-5RgNW3-dDkMZ-71iGkW-2xYYdD-49rFio-8cCKuD-2y4eFo-72oYyY-5VooLV-auqPdE-cLC9LS-7qxkmT-6syAGf-z44o7-kE49bM-5VoED4-pmpwE-pfx6bP-bXDbv7-3wEc3Q-5Sjc5w
    Sometimes, it be like this.
    "Sita and Little Major" (C) Dark Sevier






    Balancing Act

    It's been difficult on all of them. Trey and Chell literally lost their mother, at least for now, and need all the love and attention that can be spared. They need to know that they are wanted and welcome. They're still confused, and it's essential they don't feel abandoned.


    Sometimes, you're the rope
    Tug of War (c)2013 Robert Clemens on Flickr




    Cay wanted to use this picture for a sleeping girl
    "Underwater Wind" by Valentina on Flickr
    In many ways, though, the girls have lost their mom too. When their siblings were born, the older girls had months to prepare; this time, they had mere days. Before, there was always cuddle and story time, usually one one one. Now, mommy's time is split two additional ways, and precedence is, unfairly, given to the most pressing child - usually Trey or Chell, who are still dealing with emotional issues. For Cay and Punk, who are generally (not always) calmer and quieter, this means they are expected to wait until their cousins finally settle down. This may take hours, by which time the less demanding children have fallen asleep, feeling punished for their good behavior.












    It's a balancing act!
    Tight Rope Walker (c) Charles DP Miller
    It's a difficult line to walk, that space between children. They're delicate at tho age, their world views still forming, and their young minds don't always comprehend the subtleties of the adult world. There's a instant nagging fear that, at the end of the day, you've robbed one or the other (or the other or the other).










    Parenting
    "Gandini Juggling" (C) 2012 Dani Alvarez via Flickr





    Have you ever struggled with balancing your time between multiple kids or between foster or step kids and your natural children? Share in the comments below.







    Saturday, January 9, 2016

    White Trash Brangelina: How we came to be



    Believe it or not, I didn't wake up one day and decide I didn't have enough kids. I didn't get on the phone and say send me a few more.

    Sometimes life just happens.
    www.stickerfamily.com


    I can only imagine that, in a fit of envy for her clothes, her shoes, her humanitarian prowess, or her money, I said, "Jeez, I wanna be Angelina Jolie!"
     
    Apparently, the Universe misunderstood...




    A Truck stop in New Mexico
    One day in June 2015, we got a call from Arizona. My sister had gotten into a little trouble, and the state department of protective services informed us that if we did not pick up her kids, they would go into state custody. Furthermore, we had one week to pick them up.


    With some help from my aunt, some time off from my very understanding boss, and no idea of how to proceed, my husband and I loaded up the van, left our tiny town in Oklahoma, and drove 1500 miles to pick up two children we'd never met from a sister I hadn't seen in almost 10 years, and add them to our family of four girls.
    






    
    Pretty sights along the way:Gallup, NM
    Follow
    I love road trips!




    colarado river, colorado belle, laughlin, nv
    Trying to give my sister as much time with her kids as possible before we left, we spent a day exploring Hoover Dam and the areas of Nevada and Arizona I grew up in, trying to catch up on sleep, and letting me soak in some desert air. J had never seen mountains or desert, so there was lots of sightseeing to do. Of course, the sightseeing was regularly interrupted with frantic calls from the Dps worker wanting to know if we had gotten the kids yet so she could see them and close out her case. Her concern seemed genuine, so we assured her we would see her as soon as we got the kids.



    

    colorado river, laughlin nevada, colorado belle
    Watching the sun rise over the mountains and the Colorado River

    We finally picked up the kids at approximately 9:30 pm, with the idea they would fall asleep and sleep through most of the 18 hour drive home (I am an experienced road warrior, having made the trip twice a year since I was two, and knew this was best). We immediately went to Dps, where the worker took down our names, looked the kids over (in the car - they weren't even taken out of their seats to be checked), tightened our seat belts, and sent us on our way.  There were no papers to sign, no forms, nothing formal. At the time we were glad to be on the road, but in hindsight I should have been concerned. More on that later though.


    

    
     
    stopping to see the lights, like my dad did with me!
    It's now 6 1/2 months later, and our large little family is still adjusting, but we're in this adventure together. Follow along as we navigate our #whitetrashbrangelina lifestyle - minus the money, the fame, and the clothes!