Awesome Mom: Small Victories in the World of Parenting

The time I became an Awesome Mom!

#SundayFunday: Miniature Bird Houses

Painting Miniature Birdhouses for #SundayFunday Crafts.

Turning Me-Can'ts into I Cans

Inspiring confidence in your kids

#SundayFunday: Pet Rocks

#SundayFunday Craft Time: Pet Rocks - The Pet you never have to feed!

Tuesday, February 9, 2016

#VodkaBreak: Red Headed Step-Child

It's whipped, red, and delicious -perfect for a #VodkaBreak



My bestie's bday was this week, and we magically managed to have a kid free night.  Two boxes of red hair dye, some sprite, grenadine, and $30 in vodka later, we were ready for a Girls Night In. The result was some fabu new red hair, and a redhead inspired drink to share with all of you lovely readers.













Red Headed Step Child Cocktail recipe
Pinnacle Whipped


Ingredients:

Whipped Cream flavored vodka (We used Pinnacle Whipped Vodka)
Grenadine
Sprite
Maraschino cherries
Ice
Tall 8-10 oz water glass




Recipe:

2 oz whipped vodka, poured over ice
Add 1 oz Grenadian
Top off glass with sprite
Garnish with cherries

Red Headed Step Child Cocktail recipe
Yeah, it's a baby spoon. We're Moms. Don't judge us.

Red Headed Step Child Cocktail recipe
Seriously. 4 of them.




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Shelby whipped this up, and it is DELICIOUS! The whipped cream flavor adds some heft and

smoothness to the citrus of the sprite, but it's still very light and has a sparkling quality. Warning: you almost can't taste the liquor in this! I'm pretty sure I downed 4 by my self, and the two of us finished off a full bottle by ourselves! I will say, however, neither of us were hangover the next day - I credit the sprite!

Next time you need a Vodka Break, grab some Pinnacle Whipped vodka, and give a Red Headed Step-Child a try!


This is NOT a sponsored toast...er, post. Recipe, and purchase, completely by us!!


Monday, February 8, 2016

#loveblog: Strengthening Your Marriage When You're Growing Different Directions.

Growing apart isn't always a bad thing.



This week, I discovered that I accidently like a Justin Bieber song.  For a Green Day and Metallica loving, combat boot wearing, punk mom, that's a horrifying realization. (I'm turning red just typing this.)

As I wondered about this horrible change in events, I started thinking back to when J and I first met, and I listened to as much Country music (Redneck Woman, anyone?) as I did rock, and how now I cringe if a country song invades my ears while scanning channels.

It's such a little thing, but it makes me think of CHANGE, and how much changing J and I have both done. From our music to our religious view points, we've changed in many ways big and small.  And not always in the same direction (I swear he listens to MORE country than he did ten years ago!)

Change can be scary when not handled right.  Roads can deviate too far, and sometimes you find yourself on a completely different path from the person you're supposed to be walking beside.

It takes work to walk the same path, when your interests are changing. It's not as easy to find something to talk about or something fun to do when you want to shop, and he wants to play video games. It takes work.

It can be so easy to go your own way, and to let laziness set it. It's easy to limit your conversations to the kids, work, bills. It's less easy to embrace your changes, and use them to grow together.

Keys to strengthening your marriage when you're changing:

  1. Give a Little.  Maybe he loves video games.  Maybe you don't.  Find a way to make it work.  For us, I found a part of the games that I was good at, and looked for a few games with story lines I could at least tolerate.  Now, when he plays one of those games, I have specific 'jobs' that allow me to interact and discuss the game with him.  For example, the Fall Out series has a part where you have to hack into a password locked computer. I excel at this. Every time he comes to this part, even though he can do it himself, he calls my attention to it, so I can participate.
  2. Take a Little. When J and I got together, he wasn't a huge baseball fan. I was.  He gave in and went to a few games with me.  Now, even though he doesn't enjoy it as much as I do, he does enjoy them, and baseball has become something we can share.
  3. Compromise. I'm not a huge fan of actually going to a movie.  Sitting still that long, around that many people, is not my thing. I AM a fan of horror films, sports movies, and superhero flicks.  We compromise: We go to those types of movies together.  The ones I'm less interested in, he goes to along. This lets me be just as excited about the movie experience as he is.
  4. Give it a Try.  Just like baseball, there are many things that one of us, or the other, has learned to enjoy just because we've done it a few times. Sometimes, familiarity breeds contentment.
  5. Do it for Love.  I hate video game shopping. He hates shoe shopping. We love each other.  So, sometimes, we'll go shoe shopping, followed by video game shopping,  knowing that, at some point in the process, we will each be bored.  Seeing the other one happy tends to over ride the boredom.
  6. Look for things to Talk about.  There HAS to be common ground.   We don't share shopping and video games, but we do share an interest in religion, so one or the other of us is always looking at articles on religion, new books, etc.  This allows us to have conversations that don't revolve around home, work, or money.
  7. Embrace your Changes.  Sometimes, because of our mutual interest in religion, we have differing opinions.  We don't fight that - we embrace it.  A good, well-thought-out, intelligent debate between intelligent, open-minded individuals is fun and stimulating, in lots of ways! Some keys to making this work:
  • Keep it polite. No name calling. 
  • Be respectful.
  • Listen.
  • Don't interrupt. 
  • Be open minded.

Growing apart isn't always a bad thing. It can make you stronger.  Tree branches grow apart, but they thrive because the roots are firmly planted together.


LoveBlog with Belle Britaū

Sunday, February 7, 2016

#SundayFunday: Mason Jar Garden

Easy Indoor Herb Garden Project

#SundayFunday Mason Jar Garden
#SundayFunday: Mason Jar Garden



I'm a little under the weather today.  Stress levels up, energy (and caffeine levels) down, and a bit of a migraine.

I flop down on the bed next to J, who is engaged in gaming, and start pondering #SundayFunday activites, that I don't have to go to the store to buy stuff for. (I really should start planning further in advance)

"I want to make backdrops, but don't want to go buy sheets.  I have jello jigglers, pop corn balls, and rice crispy treats to make, but the jello takes forever....I  could set up decopage for them to make Valentine's day coasters...."

Up and off the bed to find decopage.  In the 'annex', mason jars catch my eye.  Oh, yeah, I did plan ahead!

A few weeks back, J suggested that the kids and I do an indoor herb garden as a #SundayFunday craft.  It sounded great, and last week Dollar Tree had planning stuff out.  (With six kids, Amazon and Dollar Tree are my FRIENDS!).

I researched some planting methods, and decided that Steve Spangler offered some great tips, and  experimentation component. (We're huge Spangler fans lol)


NECESSITIES:
Water gel beads and/or potting soil
Mason, Jelly, or baby food jars
Seeds (or if doing this as a classroom class that will be an immediate gift, like Valentine's Day, small flowers or plants)

Yay, Dollar Tree!

OPTIONAL:
Chalkboard paint
Food coloring



HOW TO:

We began by separating the gel beads into bowls and adding food coloring to enhance the fun.  Ours were already water-filled, but some brands need to be soaked first.

We lined the bottom of our mason jars will gel beads in the chosen colors.  I gave the kids the option of turning this into an experiment:
  • Use the new, colorful gel beads alone
    Food coloring turns water gels into a pretty, colorful plant base.
    Food coloring gave us pretty colors
  • Use trustworthy potting soil
  • Use a mixture of both
For the kids who decided to use both, they could either layer the soil over the beads, or mix them together.

We then took about 5 seeds of their chosen type (We used basil, sweet basil, oregano, thyme, cilantro, and chives so that the kids could then use them in cooking!) and inserted into their chosen planting source.



Water gel and potting soil


I painted a small area of the jar with chalkboard paint, and, when dry, chalked their name and plant on each respective jar.
Mason jars with water gel beads or soil make a pretty garden
Pretty indoor mason jar garden






To start our seedlings, we place them in Memaw's Greenhouse, but they can easily be put on a windowsill or shelf in a sunny spot. I plan on making a cute shelf for ours very soon.

It's going to be fun to watch them grow, and see which planting option works best!

UPDATE:
One week after planting, we are seeing sprouts!  It's so cool to see them growing!











Saturday, February 6, 2016

9 Lessons for my daughters

Things I want my daughters to know


There are all kinds of things a person should know before adulthood: how to fry an egg, how to change a tire, how to do perfect winged eye liner (sorry, girls,  mom still doesn't know that one). Some lessons are more important than others though.

9 Lessons for My Daughters:

  1. Protect your credit. Pay your bills on time. Put responsibilities before fun. I know I haven't always been the best model of this, because it wasn't modeled for me, but just this once, do as I say, not as I do. Don't make my mistakes. The shoes you want today aren't as important as what they will cost you tomorrow.
  2. You don't have to marry. Or have kids. Or do it in that order. Be responsible, and be responsible for yourself and your happiness. Marriage is not for everyone. Your value is more than your virginity, a ring on your hand, or your last name.
  3. Marry well, if you do marry. I don't mean marry wealthy. I mean marry someone who treats you well, who will support you, and encourage you to chase your dreams. Whoever he or she is, make sure they love you, that they make you happy, and make you want to be a better person.
  4. No one has the right to make you feel like less. Less than amazing. Less than perfect. Less than genius. Less than beautiful. They may tell you you are lazy, worthless, stupid, ugly, fat, untalented. Do not believe them, even if they claim to love you. Even if you love them. They are wrong. Those are their issues speaking, not yours. They don't have the right to make you feel that way, no matter who they are. You are amazing.
  5. You don't have the right to make anyone else feel like less, either. The world is a hard place, and a lot of people are sad, alone, hurting, even if they seem happy on the outside. Don't add to their pain.
  6. Sorry doesn't fix things. Sorry doesn't take away a cruel word or an unkind deed. 
  7. An apology is only sincere if it is followed by change. If someone says sorry today, nd does the same thing tomorrow, he or she is not sorry. They only want you to stop being mad. Sorry without change is meaningless, especially from someone who is supposed to love you. You don't have to accept those empty apologies. You don't have to stop being angry. There are few mental abuses more painful than when someone hurts you, and then apologizes and says they love you, just to fi it again. It is wrong. It is abuse. And you deserve better.
  8. You are amazing. You are beautiful. You are kind, talented, and intelligent. You deserve love and kindness and happiness and the best the world has to offer. You are perfect, just as you are.
  9. I love you. I will always love you. You can always come to me. I will always believe you. I will always fight for you.  I will always put you first. I will always be proud of you.

Friday, February 5, 2016

Surviving The Big C

How to survive cancer



Cancer. The word numbs the soul.  It creates terror. It causes hopelessness and despair.  It strikes without prejudice, affecting young an old, rich and poor, regardless of race, religion, politics, or affiliations.  In 2016, it is estimated that there will be over 1,680,000 new diagnoses, resulting in almost 600,000 deaths.  That's over 4,600 cases every day.

But now, the Big C has met it's match in another C: Charlotte Libov.


Charlotte Libov, who holds a graduate degree in counseling, is a patient advocate and an award winning author.  Her new book, Cancer Survival Guide , offers excellent tips for not only patients, but their caregivers, who bare the burden of aiding a loved one while dealing with the grief that cancer often causes.

Recently, Jaclyn Zukerman of JZ Social Enterprises had the privilege of interviewing Charlotte about her best selling book and how to take care of yourself and others while fighting cancer.  If you or a loved one are battling this disease, I highly recommend that you  visit Jackyn Zukerman's podcast, jzsocialenterprises.com,and listen to the interview.  You can pick up this amazing book at Amazon.com.




Wednesday, February 3, 2016

#LoveBlog link up post!

In honor of the upcoming holiday, I'll be joining the BelleBrita.com #loveBlog link up party!  Check back this month for posts on the topic of love!


LoveBlog with Belle Brita


Tuesday, February 2, 2016

10 Things No One Ever Tells You About Kinship Care

10 Things You Should Know About Raising a Relative's Kids

10 things no one tells you about kinship care
You should really know this

No one really talks about kinship care, even though almost 7.8 million children live with family members who are not their parents.  That's a huge group to have almost nothing said about it.

When we became the guardians of Trey and Chell, we assumed, as many do, that it would be fairly straight forward.  The state wanted us to take them. We were family. Their mom gave us guardianship.  I talked to someone from the Department of Child Protective Services in our state for some information, I spoke to the cps worker and the court clerk in their state, I figured I knew what I needed, and someone could walk me through the rest.

I was wrong.

Here are the things no one tells you about Kinship Care (but that you really ought to know):

  1. Every situation is different.  You can't work off general knowledge, or situational information.  You need to have an in-depth consultation with everyone involved.
  2. Not every state has the same laws, and they don't always work together.  The form we needed in Arizona doesn't exist in Oklahoma, for example.
  3. Not having the proper forms, paperwork, and signatures can be detrimental.  Without the proper forms, in all applicable locations, you may not be able to provide kids with the help they need, or protect them from being returned to a less than ideal living situation.
  4. You may not qualify for assistance from the state. Many of the programs available to parents aren't available for guardians.  Furthermore, you may not qualify for financial reasons.  In our situation, we were doing ok raising 4 kids, but adding two additional kids creates a financial burden.  Our combined income, however, puts us at about $300 a month above assistance guidelines as a family, despite the increase in expenses being far greater than that.  If we were foster parents, this guideline would not apply, but  because we qualify as relative care, foster assistance is not available.
  5. DHS workers may  not know what programs are available, or how to provide them. The Title IV-E Guardianship Assistance  guidelines are supposed to enable kinship care families to receive additional assistance under the same guidelines as foster families, but in many cases, dhs workers are unfamiliar with this program, or how to provide the assistance available.
  6. You need a lawyer.  The kinship care process is complex, and there are many details.  At the very least, you should consult with a lawyer.  Having legal advice can prevent many pitfalls such as having the wrong forms!
  7. It's HARD.  It's hard on the kids coming into your home - they may feel abandoned.  They may be confused.  They may have been abused.  There may be emotional and behavioral problems.   It's hard on your kids, who are now adjusting to sharing you with more children.  They may feel as if you are paying more attention to the more kids.  They may act out because of it.  It's hard on you, financially, physically, and mentally.  You may feel more stress as you try to balance work, home, and the dynamic of the blended family.  You may be financially strapped. You may have to move, change jobs, or quit a job.  You may have long term legal issues to deal with.
  8. It's REWARDING.  You grow to love the new additions to your family. You feel pride as the blossom and grow.  Every success is a milestone.  You take joy in seeing your own children shows love and compassion for those who were once interlopers.
  9. It's OK to say NO.  Kinship care isn't for everyone.  Recently, a friend confided that she was asked to take in a relative's child. She desperately wanted to, but she knew it wasn't best for her family, her kids, her marriage, or her health.  In her situation, it wasn't feasible.  She was ostracized by some family members for a while.  I want to tell her, and anyone else in this situation, that it is ok to say no.  Kinship care is NOT a weekend at the lake. It's not a trip to the zoo.  It's months or even years of devotion and dedication to another human being.  It's not fair to the family or the child to take in a child if it isn't in their best interest.  That isn't something that someone else can decide for you.  So, hold your head up high, and be at peace knowing that you considered it, and you made the right choice for you.
  10. But it's OK to say Yes, too.