#VodkaBreak: Red Headed Step-Child

It's whipped, red, and delicious -perfect for a #VodkaBreak

My bestie's bday was this week, and we magically managed to have a kid free night.  Two boxes of red hair dye, some sprite, grenadine, and $30 in vodka later, we were ready for a Girls Night In. The result was some fabu new red hair, and a redhead inspired drink to share with all of you lovely readers.

Pinnacle Whipped

Ingredients:

Whipped Cream flavored vodka (We used Pinnacle Whipped Vodka)
Grenadine
Sprite
Maraschino cherries
Ice
Tall 8-10 oz water glass

Recipe:

2 oz whipped vodka, poured over ice
Add 1 oz Grenadian
Top off glass with sprite
Garnish with cherries

Yeah, it's a baby spoon. We're Moms. Don't judge us.

Seriously. 4 of them.

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Shelby whipped this up, and it is DELICIOUS! The whipped cream flavor adds some heft and

smoothness to the citrus of the sprite, but it's still very light and has a sparkling quality. Warning: you almost can't taste the liquor in this! I'm pretty sure I downed 4 by my self, and the two of us finished off a full bottle by ourselves! I will say, however, neither of us were hangover the next day - I credit the sprite!

Next time you need a Vodka Break, grab some Pinnacle Whipped vodka, and give a Red Headed Step-Child a try!

This is NOT a sponsored toast...er, post. Recipe, and purchase, completely by us!!

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#loveblog: Strengthening Your Marriage When You're Growing Different Directions.

Growing apart isn't always a bad thing.

This week, I discovered that I accidently like a Justin Bieber song.  For a Green Day and Metallica loving, combat boot wearing, punk mom, that's a horrifying realization. (I'm turning red just typing this.)

As I wondered about this horrible change in events, I started thinking back to when J and I first met, and I listened to as much Country music (Redneck Woman, anyone?) as I did rock, and how now I cringe if a country song invades my ears while scanning channels.

It's such a little thing, but it makes me think of CHANGE, and how much changing J and I have both done. From our music to our religious view points, we've changed in many ways big and small.  And not always in the same direction (I swear he listens to MORE country than he did ten years ago!)

Change can be scary when not handled right.  Roads can deviate too far, and sometimes you find yourself on a completely different path from the person you're supposed to be walking beside.

It takes work to walk the same path, when your interests are changing. It's not as easy to find something to talk about or something fun to do when you want to shop, and he wants to play video games. It takes work.

It can be so easy to go your own way, and to let laziness set it. It's easy to limit your conversations to the kids, work, bills. It's less easy to embrace your changes, and use them to grow together.

Keys to strengthening your marriage when you're changing:

1. Give a Little.  Maybe he loves video games.  Maybe you don't.  Find a way to make it work.  For us, I found a part of the games that I was good at, and looked for a few games with story lines I could at least tolerate.  Now, when he plays one of those games, I have specific 'jobs' that allow me to interact and discuss the game with him.  For example, the Fall Out series has a part where you have to hack into a password locked computer. I excel at this. Every time he comes to this part, even though he can do it himself, he calls my attention to it, so I can participate.
2. Take a Little. When J and I got together, he wasn't a huge baseball fan. I was.  He gave in and went to a few games with me.  Now, even though he doesn't enjoy it as much as I do, he does enjoy them, and baseball has become something we can share.
3. Compromise. I'm not a huge fan of actually going to a movie.  Sitting still that long, around that many people, is not my thing. I AM a fan of horror films, sports movies, and superhero flicks.  We compromise: We go to those types of movies together.  The ones I'm less interested in, he goes to along. This lets me be just as excited about the movie experience as he is.
4. Give it a Try.  Just like baseball, there are many things that one of us, or the other, has learned to enjoy just because we've done it a few times. Sometimes, familiarity breeds contentment.
5. Do it for Love.  I hate video game shopping. He hates shoe shopping. We love each other.  So, sometimes, we'll go shoe shopping, followed by video game shopping,  knowing that, at some point in the process, we will each be bored.  Seeing the other one happy tends to over ride the boredom.
6. Look for things to Talk about.  There HAS to be common ground.   We don't share shopping and video games, but we do share an interest in religion, so one or the other of us is always looking at articles on religion, new books, etc.  This allows us to have conversations that don't revolve around home, work, or money.
7. Embrace your Changes.  Sometimes, because of our mutual interest in religion, we have differing opinions.  We don't fight that - we embrace it.  A good, well-thought-out, intelligent debate between intelligent, open-minded individuals is fun and stimulating, in lots of ways! Some keys to making this work:

• Keep it polite. No name calling. 
• Be respectful.
• Listen.
• Don't interrupt. 
• Be open minded.

Growing apart isn't always a bad thing. It can make you stronger.  Tree branches grow apart, but they thrive because the roots are firmly planted together.

ū

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#SundayFunday: Mason Jar Garden

Easy Indoor Herb Garden Project

#SundayFunday: Mason Jar Garden

I'm a little under the weather today.  Stress levels up, energy (and caffeine levels) down, and a bit of a migraine.

I flop down on the bed next to J, who is engaged in gaming, and start pondering #SundayFunday activites, that I don't have to go to the store to buy stuff for. (I really should start planning further in advance)

"I want to make backdrops, but don't want to go buy sheets.  I have jello jigglers, pop corn balls, and rice crispy treats to make, but the jello takes forever....I  could set up decopage for them to make Valentine's day coasters...."

Up and off the bed to find decopage.  In the 'annex', mason jars catch my eye.  Oh, yeah, I did plan ahead!

A few weeks back, J suggested that the kids and I do an indoor herb garden as a #SundayFunday craft.  It sounded great, and last week Dollar Tree had planning stuff out.  (With six kids, Amazon and Dollar Tree are my FRIENDS!).

I researched some planting methods, and decided that Steve Spangler offered some great tips, and  experimentation component. (We're huge Spangler fans lol)


NECESSITIES:
Water gel beads and/or potting soil
Mason, Jelly, or baby food jars
Seeds (or if doing this as a classroom class that will be an immediate gift, like Valentine's Day, small flowers or plants)

Yay, Dollar Tree!

OPTIONAL:
Chalkboard paint
Food coloring



HOW TO:

We began by separating the gel beads into bowls and adding food coloring to enhance the fun.  Ours were already water-filled, but some brands need to be soaked first.

We lined the bottom of our mason jars will gel beads in the chosen colors.  I gave the kids the option of turning this into an experiment:

• Use the new, colorful gel beads alone

  

  Food coloring gave us pretty colors

• Use trustworthy potting soil
• Use a mixture of both

For the kids who decided to use both, they could either layer the soil over the beads, or mix them together.

We then took about 5 seeds of their chosen type (We used basil, sweet basil, oregano, thyme, cilantro, and chives so that the kids could then use them in cooking!) and inserted into their chosen planting source.

Water gel and potting soil

I painted a small area of the jar with chalkboard paint, and, when dry, chalked their name and plant on each respective jar.

Pretty indoor mason jar garden

To start our seedlings, we place them in Memaw's Greenhouse, but they can easily be put on a windowsill or shelf in a sunny spot. I plan on making a cute shelf for ours very soon.

It's going to be fun to watch them grow, and see which planting option works best!

UPDATE:
One week after planting, we are seeing sprouts!  It's so cool to see them growing!

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9 Lessons for my daughters

Things I want my daughters to know

There are all kinds of things a person should know before adulthood: how to fry an egg, how to change a tire, how to do perfect winged eye liner (sorry, girls,  mom still doesn't know that one). Some lessons are more important than others though.

9 Lessons for My Daughters:

1. Protect your credit. Pay your bills on time. Put responsibilities before fun. I know I haven't always been the best model of this, because it wasn't modeled for me, but just this once, do as I say, not as I do. Don't make my mistakes. The shoes you want today aren't as important as what they will cost you tomorrow.
2. You don't have to marry. Or have kids. Or do it in that order. Be responsible, and be responsible for yourself and your happiness. Marriage is not for everyone. Your value is more than your virginity, a ring on your hand, or your last name.
3. Marry well, if you do marry. I don't mean marry wealthy. I mean marry someone who treats you well, who will support you, and encourage you to chase your dreams. Whoever he or she is, make sure they love you, that they make you happy, and make you want to be a better person.
4. No one has the right to make you feel like less. Less than amazing. Less than perfect. Less than genius. Less than beautiful. They may tell you you are lazy, worthless, stupid, ugly, fat, untalented. Do not believe them, even if they claim to love you. Even if you love them. They are wrong. Those are their issues speaking, not yours. They don't have the right to make you feel that way, no matter who they are. You are amazing.
5. You don't have the right to make anyone else feel like less, either. The world is a hard place, and a lot of people are sad, alone, hurting, even if they seem happy on the outside. Don't add to their pain.
6. Sorry doesn't fix things. Sorry doesn't take away a cruel word or an unkind deed. 
7. An apology is only sincere if it is followed by change. If someone says sorry today, nd does the same thing tomorrow, he or she is not sorry. They only want you to stop being mad. Sorry without change is meaningless, especially from someone who is supposed to love you. You don't have to accept those empty apologies. You don't have to stop being angry. There are few mental abuses more painful than when someone hurts you, and then apologizes and says they love you, just to fi it again. It is wrong. It is abuse. And you deserve better.
8. You are amazing. You are beautiful. You are kind, talented, and intelligent. You deserve love and kindness and happiness and the best the world has to offer. You are perfect, just as you are.
9. I love you. I will always love you. You can always come to me. I will always believe you. I will always fight for you.  I will always put you first. I will always be proud of you.

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Surviving The Big C

How to survive cancer

Cancer. The word numbs the soul.  It creates terror. It causes hopelessness and despair.  It strikes without prejudice, affecting young an old, rich and poor, regardless of race, religion, politics, or affiliations.  In 2016, it is estimated that there will be over 1,680,000 new diagnoses, resulting in almost 600,000 deaths.  That's over 4,600 cases every day.

But now, the Big C has met it's match in another C: Charlotte Libov.

Charlotte Libov, who holds a graduate degree in counseling, is a patient advocate and an award winning author.  Her new book, Cancer Survival Guide , offers excellent tips for not only patients, but their caregivers, who bare the burden of aiding a loved one while dealing with the grief that cancer often causes.

Recently, Jaclyn Zukerman of JZ Social Enterprises had the privilege of interviewing Charlotte about her best selling book and how to take care of yourself and others while fighting cancer.  If you or a loved one are battling this disease, I highly recommend that you  visit Jackyn Zukerman's podcast, jzsocialenterprises.com,and listen to the interview.  You can pick up this amazing book at Amazon.com.

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#LoveBlog link up post!

In honor of the upcoming holiday, I'll be joining the BelleBrita.com #loveBlog link up party!  Check back this month for posts on the topic of love!

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10 Things No One Ever Tells You About Kinship Care

10 Things You Should Know About Raising a Relative's Kids

You should really know this

No one really talks about kinship care, even though almost 7.8 million children live with family members who are not their parents.  That's a huge group to have almost nothing said about it.

When we became the guardians of Trey and Chell, we assumed, as many do, that it would be fairly straight forward.  The state wanted us to take them. We were family. Their mom gave us guardianship.  I talked to someone from the Department of Child Protective Services in our state for some information, I spoke to the cps worker and the court clerk in their state, I figured I knew what I needed, and someone could walk me through the rest.

I was wrong.

Here are the things no one tells you about Kinship Care (but that you really ought to know):

1. Every situation is different.  You can't work off general knowledge, or situational information.  You need to have an in-depth consultation with everyone involved.
2. Not every state has the same laws, and they don't always work together.  The form we needed in Arizona doesn't exist in Oklahoma, for example.
3. Not having the proper forms, paperwork, and signatures can be detrimental.  Without the proper forms, in all applicable locations, you may not be able to provide kids with the help they need, or protect them from being returned to a less than ideal living situation.
4. You may not qualify for assistance from the state. Many of the programs available to parents aren't available for guardians.  Furthermore, you may not qualify for financial reasons.  In our situation, we were doing ok raising 4 kids, but adding two additional kids creates a financial burden.  Our combined income, however, puts us at about $300 a month above assistance guidelines as a family, despite the increase in expenses being far greater than that.  If we were foster parents, this guideline would not apply, but  because we qualify as relative care, foster assistance is not available.
5. DHS workers may  not know what programs are available, or how to provide them. The Title IV-E Guardianship Assistance  guidelines are supposed to enable kinship care families to receive additional assistance under the same guidelines as foster families, but in many cases, dhs workers are unfamiliar with this program, or how to provide the assistance available.
6. You need a lawyer.  The kinship care process is complex, and there are many details.  At the very least, you should consult with a lawyer.  Having legal advice can prevent many pitfalls such as having the wrong forms!
7. It's HARD.  It's hard on the kids coming into your home - they may feel abandoned.  They may be confused.  They may have been abused.  There may be emotional and behavioral problems.   It's hard on your kids, who are now adjusting to sharing you with more children.  They may feel as if you are paying more attention to the more kids.  They may act out because of it.  It's hard on you, financially, physically, and mentally.  You may feel more stress as you try to balance work, home, and the dynamic of the blended family.  You may be financially strapped. You may have to move, change jobs, or quit a job.  You may have long term legal issues to deal with.
8. It's REWARDING.  You grow to love the new additions to your family. You feel pride as the blossom and grow.  Every success is a milestone.  You take joy in seeing your own children shows love and compassion for those who were once interlopers.
9. It's OK to say NO.  Kinship care isn't for everyone.  Recently, a friend confided that she was asked to take in a relative's child. She desperately wanted to, but she knew it wasn't best for her family, her kids, her marriage, or her health.  In her situation, it wasn't feasible.  She was ostracized by some family members for a while.  I want to tell her, and anyone else in this situation, that it is ok to say no.  Kinship care is NOT a weekend at the lake. It's not a trip to the zoo.  It's months or even years of devotion and dedication to another human being.  It's not fair to the family or the child to take in a child if it isn't in their best interest.  That isn't something that someone else can decide for you.  So, hold your head up high, and be at peace knowing that you considered it, and you made the right choice for you.
10. But it's OK to say Yes, too. 
12. 
    

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#SundayFunday: Yummy Valentine's Day Gift for Teachers

Popcorn Balls and Rice Krispy Treats Make a Yummy Gift for Teachers

Gift for Teachers

In the Spirit of the upcoming holiday, we whipped up a gift teachers are sure to love!    These delicious treats are yummy, easy for even littles to make, and inexpensive enough to cover every teacher the big kids see during the day!

INGREDIENTS:

POPCORN BALLS

• 2 bags of microwave popcorn

  

  Marshmallows and chocolate chips

• 1 tsp butter
• 10 oz bag mini marshmallows
• chocolate chips

RICE KRISPY TREATS

• 10 oz marshmallows
• 3 tsp butter
• 6 cups rice krispys

INSTRUCTIONS:

POPCORN BALLS:

1. Melt 1/2 marshmallows and 1/2 chocolate chips with 1 tsp butter on medium heat on stove
2. Pop 1 bag popcorn, pour it in a big mixing bowl
3. Pour the rest of the chocolate chips and marshmallows in bowl
4. Pop the other bag of popcorn and pour it over the marshmallows, chocolate, and popcorn. Mix thoroughly
5. Pour the melted marshmallows and chocolate over the popcorn mixture and mix more.
6. Using clean hands, form the gooey mix into balls, and let cool

Yummy!

RICE KRISPY TREATS:

1. Melt 10 oz bag of marshmallows with 4 tsp butter on medium heat on stove
2. When fully melted, mix in 6 cups of rice krispy cereal. 
3. Mix until cereal is fully coated.
4. Press into prepared dish to cool *
5. Once cool, use cookie cutters to cut treats into hearts, etc (We used lips and mustaches)

*To prep baking dish, spray with cooking spray

To present the yummy gifts, line a decorative box or basket with tissue paper and place 1-2 pop corn balls and 2-4 rice krispy treats in the box.  Make sure every thing is FULLY COOLED before placing in box or it will stick to paper. I advise placing them all in the fridge first.

 Close and present.

We had to make two batches, because the first batch got all eaten up!!

Let me know how they turn out in the comments below.

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Avoiding a Day Care Nightmare

Finding the right fit for your special needs child

Trey got kicked out of Day Care today.

They say he had a melt down and started hitting and kicking.

It Went Something like this

Sadly, I know this is likely true. He's done it at home. He has behavioral problems, most likely associated with his (severe) adhd.

Finding a day care is hard in any situation. It's hard to choose who to trust your children to. It's difficult to balance the need to work with the guilt of someone else caring for your children. You worry because you don't really know the person, you just know what various websites, references, and your own interviews tell you. Sometimes, you aren't even sure then. Sometimes, life dictates that you are stuck with who you can get.

It's worse when a child has special needs like Trey does. Having a special needs child adds extra worries, and requires extra steps, to ensure they can handle his outbursts, his anxieties, or what ever else crops up.

As I'm new to this, I didn't take all necessary precautions, but I did learn an important lesson, and I'm sharing that with you today.

Avoiding the Day Care Nightmare: Steps to take

1. Acknowledge any special needs.  Make sure that you mention any special concerns up front.  Things to mention include allergies, anxieties, physical or mental limitations, psychological or behavioral problems, and anything from the child's home life or background that could cause concern, including recent relocations, foster care, divorce, new babies, or changes to the family dynamic.
2. Discuss the facilities ability to handle these needs.  Even though I had mentioned Trey's behavioral problems, and his family history, I did not take the time to ensure that the day care could handle his outbursts.  I found out later that they had never had a special needs child, including one with adhd or on the  autism spectrum.  Not only were they woefully incapable of handling him, but they exasperated the problems.
3. Advise them on proper techniques.  If there are certain techniques to diffuse his outbursts, ensure that they know them and can do them.
4. Seek additional help. Some state wic or health department offices provide assistance, including going to the facility and observing and training the day care workers.
5. Trust your instincts. If something seems wrong, it probably is.  Watch for key words like "bad", "naughty", etc, as well as cues from your child that the facility isn't a good fit.
6. Don't be afraid to say it isn't working. A Day care is like a job- your child spends a lot of time there, every week. Sometimes, we adults find ourselves in jobs we aren't suited for; likewise, the day care may not be a good fit for your child. If he or she isn't happy, if he is anxious about going or fakes sick, or if you are getting complaints about your child, it is time to move on. 

Finding a good day care for a child with special needs is vital to your child's success there, and his or her happiness.   Open communication and a few extra precautions can help avoid a day care nightmare.

Happy Kids

Have you ever had day care problems? What are your success secrets?

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Turning the "Me-Can'ts" into the "I Cans"

Instilling confidence in your kids

Yes, you can!

The little girls are doing glitter-art while I fix lunch. Cay has already unleashed a flood of glitter onto her paper, when all of a sudden, I hear her utter the  dreaded "me-can't".

"Mommy, Me-Can't do it!"

But I know she can, because she's been doing it for several minutes.

Life as a kid is hard!

The Reality of Childhood

Contrary to what we adults would like to believe, childhood isn't a beautiful, worry free existence full  of juice boxes, fingerpaints, and naps (beautiful, glorious naps).  Childhood is hard.  Childhood is full of adventures, and misadventures. It's testing boundaries - physical, mental, and societal.  Childhood includes a lot of trial and errors, bumps and bruises, and lots of failures.
It's learning to walk and falling off bikes, and lots of failures before successes.

Beware the Me-Can'ts !

We have to help them get on the bike again.

With so many bikes to fall off of, so many strikes instead of home runs, so many things to learn and things to be bad at, it can be tempting for a child to stop trying and just say, "Me Can't!"

"I can't solve this problem, it's too hard."
"I can't be her friend, my friends will tease me." 
"I can't say no, or they won't like me."

That's where we, as parents, have to step in, and do our jobs.  We have to teach them how to say, "I can!"

Instilling confidence in our kids is our biggest gift to them.  Confidence enables them to be kind when those around them are being cruel, it enables them to stand their ground and say no when others are saying yes.  It enables them to  get back on the bike. 

How to Turn "Me-Can'ts" into "I Cans"

There are some simple steps to turn those "Me-can'ts" into "I cans".

1. Gauge the situation.  Is this something the child legitimately can do at this stage, or are they being pushed into territory that doesn't allow them success?   It is reasonable to expect the average toddler to pour a bowl of cereal, but not to prepare a 3 course meal.  Set reasonable expectations.   Pushing a child past their actual limits can guarantee failure, and reinforce the idea of "can't".


2. Determine the cause of the  "Can't".  Is your child saying she can't  because she doesn't have the skill, or because she doesn't know how?  Perhaps you can sit with her and give her simple directions and encouragement.  Is he saying he can't because he lacks confidence?  Try doing it together the first time to boost his confidence a little.  Maybe he's scared to try something new.  The Monkey Bars seem high, or he's afraid he might fall off the playground.  Show him why it's safe, or what safety measures there are to keep him from falling. Perhaps she just wants a little attention.  As the parent of 6 children, I am especially guilty of multitasking, which robs the kids of the one on one time they need. Cay, especially, uses "Me-Can't" as a way to get mom's attention. I can usually overcome this "Me-Can't" by sitting with Cay, paying her some extra attention, mixed with extra praise, until her mommy-cup is full, and she is happy to play without me again.





Repeat after me: "This is OK"



3. Allow some room for failure. Accept that there will be mistakes, and let that be ok.  This one was hard for me to learn, especially as the number of children increased.  It was hard for me to accept that my way wasn't the only way.  Once I relaxed and let the kids do things that way, we were all happier.  I realized that it's ok if the glitter snowflakes are messy, if the tie-dye looks more like a mud-pie, and if their hands have more paint than their pictures.  In accepting that, I made it ok for them to be perfectly imperfect.  By allowing failure to happen, kids become less afraid of failure, which gives them more chances to succeed.


4. Reinforce the "Can".  Offer Praise and encouragement.   Celebrate the little successes, so that they have the confidence to go after the big ones.  Remind them of the great job they are doing.


5. Be there for support.  Be there, nearby, to offer encouragement, and a sense of safety, but don't do it for them.  Demonstrate once, then turn it over to them. Doing it for them reinforces the idea that they can't do it, and rewards them for lazy behavior.  It teaches them that, if they can't do it, Mom or Dad will.  This undermines their confidence, as they never have a chance to succeed on their own.

"Mommy, I DID IT!"

"Yes, you can, Cay-Cay," I replied as I stood next to her. "Look how pretty it is!   You're doing a great job!  What color do you want next?"

I opened the purple glitter and watched intently as she worked, until I got the feeling she no longer needed me.

A few minutes later, I heard her call me again, "Mommy, I did it, all by myself!!"

Ahhhh... the blessed "I can".

What do you do to instill confidence and turn your kids' "Me-Can'ts" into "I Cans"?

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Awesome Mom: Small Victories in the World of Parenting

The time I became the Awesome Mom

Today, I discovered that, in my daughter's circle of friends, I'm the awesome mom.


My interest was piqued. In my experience, growing up, the 'cool' mom was the one who let her kids drink, smoke, hold raucous parties, and stay out all night. I don't allow any of that.

I had to know.

What, exactly, makes an awesome mom?

I'm feeling myself today

• According to D, all of her friends think I'm pretty (I've never considered myself more than cute). Superficial, perhaps, but  I let myself bask in it for a few moments.

• I'm pro-gay-rights. Apparently, my refusal to touch a chikfila scored big points, along with my willingness to perform gay marriages.

Score one for civil rights

• I don't care what color her hair is, as long as it doesn't get her kicked out of school, even though I don't think hair color has ANY impact on learning.

Self-expression: Jada would be proud

Restrictions? Who knew?!?

Mostly, though, I care.

According to D, it matters that I let my children express them selves (i.e. " You let me wear whatevs"), but I don't allow anything illegal or harmful.

I'm pleased to know that, amongst the list of things that modern teenagers consider awesome, a parent who cares and has restrictions is awesome.

Getting it right? Victory!

Just give me my star already

I think, as parents, we all question if we are doing the right things, if we are doing well. Especially in the turbulent teenage years. While I've never thought my daughters hated me, I've wondered if, perhaps I've failed to given them all of myself, or if they resented my long hours, the additional children, or my brash ways and outspoken style.










It's wonderful to know that, for the time being at least, I'm an awesome mom. (Jada would be so proud!)

Yup, this is pretty much what it felt like

What were your Parenting Victories this week?

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Dealing With The State: Who's Your Daddy?

I can feel the tension spreading across my back - always carry tension in my back and shoulders - and the pain from the ensuing muscle spasms makes it hard to breathe. My head hurts. I'm. Emotionally exhausted. I've been reduced to tears of frustration at least once today, and waves of helplessness and hopelessness have crashed over me through out the day.

Fostering, or what ever it is I'm doing, is never easy. There are countless struggles and pitfalls, but none are as debilitating as dealing with The State.


 Dealing with the state is like being tossed in a deep, dark labyrinth. You don't where to turn, there's no one to trust, and some where not too far off, you hear a minotaur.

k

When we got Trey and Chel, we were so focused on doing what was right for the kids, that we rushed in blind. We were told we had only a week to pick them up. We assumed someone from one state or the other would be there to assist us. We didn't have time or money for a lawyer. With weeks, we discovered we'd discovered that this was a huge mistake. We've been punished for it ever since.

Today's ordeal centered around child support, or lack thereof.

Kids Need Structure

Because of Trey's behavioral problems, associated with severe ADHD, he sees a behavioral therapist. Her evaluation is that he needs a structured educational setting, but he's too young for school.




Because Arizona "dropped the ball" (aka didn't give a damn about those kids), they are put under my income, and qualify for none of the assistance foster kids usually get. Arizona has never called to check up on them, never inquired on their progress, never returned a single one of the countless calls placed to them seeking assistance in getting these children the aid they need to grow and become happy and successful. The state of OK finally agreed to place them in day care three days days a week (though the daycare was woefully incapable of assisting them).


ii




Then, this happened.

Who's Your Daddy?

Last month, they sent me letters of "non-compliance" from the Child Support division. I advised that I did not know who the fathers were, and that kids are my niece and nephew, and I hadn't been there for conception.


Apparently, my lack of knowledge was construed as lack of cooperation.
  
I called back to find out how to correct the problem, and was told that they couldn't even find the account because they don't have the father's name!

We've found ourselves back at square one: Making too much money to get into a good Headstart program, which is necessary for controlling Trey's ADHD and ensuring his success in school next year. Making too little money to afford the level of help he needs on our own. Wandering endlessly in this twisting, turning maze, fearing the minotaur.

Have you ever dealt with the state? Do you have experience fostering?

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#SundayFunday: Miniature Bird Houses

A Cute birthday birdhouses

An easy, inexpensive craft project for kids




This inexpensive bird hose and some paint make a great kid's project



Grampy's birthday is next weekend, so we decided to make birthday presents for #SundayFunday.  Gramps is an avid birdwatcher, and a huge Dallas Cowboys fan, so we whipped up some mini birdhouses, in blue, white, and grey.

These birdhouses can be found in Walmart in the craft aisle, or get a dozen in bulk straight to your door from Amazon.   The paints are also available from Walmart or from amazon - we chose patio and outdoor paint.


The project itself was pretty straight forward and easy, so in general, I would let the kids paint them as they pleased, but today, the big kids and I provided slightly more supervision.

Using our Dallas colored paint, we painted our birdhouses appropriate colors.

For an additional personal touch, I painted each kid's hand in a contrasting color, and placed it on the back, side, or roof of the house.

We then allowed the houses to dry.  For houses that will be exposed to the elements, it is suggested that you follow up with a clear coat varnish or protestant.

I'd love to see your completed birdhouses! Share them in the comments below!

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