I Can’t Even

Ya’ll.  I can’t even today.
Can’t even walk. Can’t even sit up straight. Can’t even play with my  planner. Can’t even write my friend a letter. Can’t even sleep. I can’t even breathe comfortably.


I have used up all my spoons today, plus some, and I just can’t even.


If you aren’t familiar with the terms “spoons” or “spoonies”, a “spoon” is an analogy for the amount of energy required to complete a basic task, as described by Christine Miserandino, and a “Spoonie” is someone suffering from chronic pain or illness. In my case, my AS is stealing my spoons.



Now, if you’ve read previous MNAVB blog entries, it’s at this point you would expect me to try to offer some positive insight, or a “here are 10000 tips for living with pain”, or some similar bit intended to give both you and me hope.

But tonight? Tonight I can’t even.


The fact is, sometimes life sucks and we need a moment to feel sorry for ourselves. Sometimes we need to wallow in self-pity for a little bit. We need to feel sympathy and acknowledge how damn hard the struggle can be at times, whether that struggle is physical, mental, spiritual, financial, or otherwise.


Feeling sorry for yourself every once in a while isn’t weakness, taking a break isn’t a weakness, falling down isn’t a weakness. You just have to get back up again.


As for me, guys and gals, I’m going to save my trusty blog app, lay my phone down, and try to stockpile some spoons for tomorrow.




Are you a Spoonie, or do you know a Spoonie? What are your favorite tips for getting through a low-spoon or no-spoon day?