Today was a rough one.
Most of the day was spent with family, making funeral preparations for my brother-in-law, which carries an expected amount of stress.
The real difficultly was waiting at home.
My nephew, Trey, has some behavioral issues that we are trying address. His ADHD is rather severe, and his outbursts can be difficult at best. We had been making real, measurable progress - to the point that meals and outings in public were real possibilities, and he could be easily redirected when necessary. Some days, I even felt confident enough to take several of the children shopping by myself.
This winning streak ended, however, once he started day care. There are days now that I fear I may have to quit my job and stay home with him, which is not only fiscally impossible, but would result in me being a horrible bitch. Though I know this confession will being a torrent of mom-judging raining down on me, I will admit it: I hate being at home 24/7. I'm a terrible cook, a terrible housekeeper, and having a dream to chase keeps me breathing.
Trey is actually a wonderful child. He is big hearted, happy, and eager to please. I love him dearly and unconditionally, but the word unconditionally in and of itself implies a struggle to overcome. His outbursts often escalate to the point when physical restraint is warranted. We work with a behavioral specialist weekly, utilizing play therapy, redirection, and other methods. Some days are better than others. His behavioral therapists suggest highly structured, regulated class time. Headstart is the least regulated environment they suggest. Unfortunately, due to mishandling of their case by Arizona, he doesn't qualify for the program, and my income exceeds guidelines; we're stuck in limbo, unable to provide the help he needs.
Which brings us back to today. Today, Trey's meltdowns were horrendous. Between 5:00 and 6:15, we had no less than 5 meltdowns. There was kicking and screaming, throwing himself on the floor, hitting, throwing things, throwing things at people... there were timeouts, grounding exercises, removal from the room.... nothing worked.
Today, bath and bedtime couldn't come soon enough.
Posts
